Jack B Badd
by daryn
Summary: Years later Jack narrates in first person the story of his life.
1. A Beginning is a Very Delicate Time

http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/disclaimers.html DISCLAIMERS!!! YOU MUST READ THESE FIRST 

Title: Jack B. Badd Part One: A Beginning is a Very Delicate Time  
Author: Daryn  
Fandom: Pitch Black  
Pairing: Jack/Riddick (eventually)  
Rating: PGish  
Email: dmunster@hotmail.com  
Series/Sequel: This is part one in the saga of Jack  
Web Page: http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, but damn I wish I did.  
Warnings: Jack is a boy. Read 'Disclaimers' page for more info  
Notes: Jack's POV. This is the story of Jack's life with emphasis on his experiences on the planet in Pitch Black. There is no sex, yet. Eventually Jack and Riddick will get groovy though.  
Summary: Years later Jack narrates the story of the first thirteen years of his life, leading up to his departure on the Hunter Gratzner.  
Beta Credit: Colin and Cait. *hugs*  


* * *

I'm not really sure what fate had against me. Or has had against me anyway. Hindsight is a wonderful privilege and I'm really grateful for it. 

Still, memories distort everything so I can't promise that what I recall here is strictly "what happened" but it is certainly, for all intents and purposes, what happened to me and as I remember it. Before I can relive the events that happened on that... Planet... for you, I have to give you an idea of who I was when it happened. 

So hi there, my name is Jack. It always has been. They changed it at the "kids off the streets" place where I was for a while but I ignored that. It was just paperwork anyway. My mother named me Jack. 

Or, at any rate, the lady who took care of me until I was about five years old and they picked me up -- I called her Mother. The agency people insisted that my parents were dead. The one lady with the cold hands and long red nails told me to forget about Mother. 

I just nodded and kept quiet. Mother had taught me that - just nod and pretend to agree but go ahead and do what you need to. I wasn't about to forget Mother. 

They called me Jack until I was at the clinic. I washed up and changed into the gown they handed me and it wasn't until the doctor stepped out of the room and started whispering loudly with the nurse that I began to worry that something was wrong. 

I thought I might have the plague. Mother had told me that people with the plague were burned and fed to rich people. Or something like that. I don't really remember too well aside from being frightened of having the plague and being burned by the doctor and the nurse. 

I don't recall exactly how they approached the subject of gender with my scrawny, five year old self, but I figure it went something like: 

"Honey, you know you're a girl?"  
"My mother said Jack's a boy name."   
"Yes but you're a girl."   
And I would nod "Ok."   
"So can we call you Jackie or Jacqueline?"   
"No."   
"But you're a girl. Don't you want to wear a dress?"   
And I would shrug "Ok." 

I just wanted clothes. Later I retracted my indifference and refused to wear dresses. It wasn't only because the other kids gave me hell. I just felt naked in them. 

I don't remember everything about my life before the kids center. Before all the events on the Planet I had just an average memory I suppose but I recall every detail of those days or however long we were there. Maybe that drove out or confused my memories of early childhood. 

I remember living in a very small space, just a room really, with Mother. I remember being cold and hungry. But those memories are mixed with memories of being warm and happy as well. I remember that we would busk on street corners -- Mother would chime bells or something and I would dance and sing nonsense at the top of my voice so that people would throw money at us and we could eat. 

I sometimes wonder what happened to Mother - if she put me out for the kid collectors or if she wonders what happened to me. Maybe someday I'll go back and find out. Of course I never really will, but... you know. 

Anyway, I _was_ picked up and I spent three months or so at the kid center. The girls there shirked me or made rude comments to me. The boys teased me but preferred to hit me and trip me. Sometimes I cried at night but I never let anyone see me. 

Eventually I was sent uptown. I lived in the nice part of the colony with this man and woman who took in a lot of street kids. I liked them I guess. The lady never made me wear dresses or anything. School was Ok cuz one of the older boys in our house looked after me. His name was Peter and he would beat the shit out of any kid who gave me a hard time. 

Peter was the first friend I ever had. We played electronic games, card games, soldiers, we made forts, we wrestled. He called me his little bro-sister and was the only one in the house who never ever called me Jackie -- always Jack. I think the kid center people registered me under 'Jacqueline' but I never really paid attention. I knew that I was Jack and I had Peter so I was happy. 

Peter and I also watched just TONS of vids. Our favorites were the spy thrillers and action movies. Lots of killing and explosions. Of course these days I have a completely different... appreciation (not sure that's quite the word I'm looking for...) for those kinds of vids. 

It wasn't all childish innocence though. Of course there came the inevitable day when all my nagging thoughts just came out. I knew I was different from other boys. 

I said to Peter that I wanted to know why they never told other boys that they were girls and changed their names. Peter looked thoughtful for a minute. I don't remember his exact words of course but I think he said something like "Well Jack, there was prolly an accident or something and they feel bad so they want you to be a girl." 

I didn't know what he meant and I suppose that's how we ended up in an 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' situation. 

I was fascinated. Even more so when Peter showed me how he jerked off. Then he took a look and pointed out that I could probably do it too, just a little different. It was so good to find out that even though I was different, I could still apparently do whatever other boys could do. Peter and I only ever jerked off together, nothing more than that -- a two person circle jerk or something I guess. 

Then there was the day that I asked Peter what it meant if I had a crush on a boy. He said that it meant I would probably go to hell. Howver, since we didn't believe in hell we figured that I would be Ok. But I got thinking about what it would mean to really be the 'fag' that I was always accused of being and thought that maybe I should take a shot at being a girl. 

I told the lady -- my caremother -- about my decision and she seemed really happy. She told the man (my carefather) "I told you she'd come around on her own". So we went shopping and I got skirts (I still didn't like dresses), girl tops, hair accessories, jewelry -- the whole works. 

My hair was down to my shoulders - the longest it's ever been - one week before my eleventh birthday when I set out for an all-girls boarding school. 

On the docks I said goodbye to Peter. He said I looked like a drag queen. He was just talking out of his ass because he didn't want to cry I know, but I felt like a drag queen too. I hugged him close, we didn't really understand then but I know that we both knew that even if we met again we would never have what we had before. It was all lost in the haze of childhood. 

I was heading into the worst three years of my life. I got very bitter at that girls school -- I blamed Mother and Peter for making me such a mess. I lashed out at them in my mind in a way that I could never lash out at my peers or teachers. I couldn't fit in as a girl and I wasn't accepted as a boy. 

There was a peculiar sexual-social hierarchy at the school. I saw or, heard mostly, more than one girl getting raped by one of the bigger girls. Of course that was only one side of it. There were some girls who were the kind of close friends that Peter and I had been. Some were lovers and they were happy -- I was envious. I was never attacked but I could never hope for that kind of happiness. 

Why did I never leave the school? Because I couldn't. I couldn't go back to my careparents and Peter. Peter had probably gone off to a school himself. 

I was a ward of 'the state' though the archaic term basically meant that I was a statistic that the Congress had to take of and at the moment I was safely stowed in a school and as far as they were concerned I would stay there until I graduated. 

I remember the day that the councilor and principal called me into the office and asked me why I cut my hair so short and preferred to wear my gym clothes instead of the dress and skirt uniforms. They told me that I'd get to go out with boys soon and so i didn't need to try to be a boy myself. I suppose that what it really meant was that they thought I was a dyke and they were telling me that the other girls would have "real" boys soon so I had better get used to the way things were. 

I decided that it wouldn't be a good idea to explain to them that I was really just a boy who happened to be a girl at the moment because being a fag hadn't been working terribly well and all the adults had seemed to think I was a girl anyway. 

I started to daydream about leaving the school, dressing like a boy for real (not the androgynous femme look I had going on as a child), being called 'he' and hanging out with the other boys. Of course these flights of fancy also included Peter being there too and introducing me to the perfect man who would love me and all that -- you've heard it all before I'm sure. I'm not _that_ unique. 

I also thought about finding other boys like me, who were told that they were girls. I made a few sly comments sometimes at school but no one ever seemed to pick up on it and I gave up on trying to find another boy like me there after a while. 

In my imaginings I'd go back and find Mother. She and Peter and I and my love would all live happily ever after. And Mother would explain why I was a boy and the whole world would make sense in a way that it never had for me before. 

But my waking world was not so kind. I was twelve years, six months, and three days old when I had my first period. I knew all about periods from the other girls but I was shocked and incredulous that such a thing could happen to me. 

Of course the realization that I "really" was a girl came as a.... something like a shock and a relief only sharper and more poignant than either. I was relieved to find that there had not been an accident which had removed my penis -- my penis was called a clitoris and I had all the girl parts and none of the boy ones. I was at peace with the final knowledge of my own body. 

But I also knew somehow that I really was a boy. 

How could I reconcile that knowledge with this physical reality? I wasn't sure then and I don't know if I'm sure even now. There is no final answer, E does not equal MC squared, money is not the root of all evil. Life is just an endless chore of self discovery and decision making. 

I wondered what Peter would say if I asked him about this and decided that although I was not the boy that I thought I was, I _was_ a kind of boy that I had never really dreamed possible. I was a girl-boy and I assured myself that someday I would find someone who could love that. 

Of course I cried quite a few times and worried about all these things a great deal but in the end I decided to worry about getting the hell out of that school instead. All those nagging doubts remained on the back burner but then, they always do I suppose. At least that's what the vids would have us believe. 

At the girls school, when you turned thirteen you could start going on weekly outings to the market and monthly dances with the boys from the all boys school. From going to the markets I realized that if I got enough money I could get the hell out on a transport. 

We got a few creds each for every outing. I never spent mine, I saved them all, and I began to steal from the other girls. Some of their parents sent them money and I could grab that or just take little things from their stashes and sell them at the market. 

I enjoyed the monthly dances. I talked with small groups of boys, the quiet ones who looked as longingly at the big, handsome boys as I did. We'd shoot the shit and I'd tell them that they should dance with me cuz I was really a boy. Those were fun times. I liked dancing with them and just talking and listening to them talk. Of course there were a fair number of dirty looks and curses from the other boys. Many accusations of 'dyke' and other words that I'm glad I can't remember. 

As a result of these unwanted attentions I got to be friends with some of the girls - some of those happy couples I mentioned before. These new friends, girls and boys, made my last few months there more bearable in many ways but really just made me that much more anxious to get out and live a life outside of those walls. 

I wasn't thinking clearly of course. I had no way of really knowing anything about the possibilities life held for me, only what I'd dreamed up from the vids and what other people talked about. I just saw myself as this poor thing that was bottled up, a prisoner who was destined to always follow someone else's plan for my life. Forever trapped. I don't have any real idea of what would have happened to me if I had stayed there. 

Twice on our market trips I had managed to get into a net bar and snoop around a bit. We had some net access in school but it was monitored and very restricted. 

I don't even remember exactly how long it took me to save up enough. Maybe eight months, maybe a whole year. But finally I had enough. At the net bar I used my creds to make a reservation on a transport that left at about the time I figured I would be able to make it to the docks during the next market trip. I was walking on tip toes the whole next week -- watching every move I made. I was so nervous. 

I refused to let myself think of this as anything but my break out to complete freedom. 

The night finally came. I slipped away from the group, my stomach a bundle of nerves. I faded through the crowd and then ran like hell for the docks. I slowed down as I neared my gate. My heart was racing so fast I thought I was going to implode. I had managed to smuggle my long coat into my bag and by wearing this I hoped to avoid meeting any possible description later of an escaping school girl (though of course I was still in my skirt uniform). 

Everything from that moment to my arrival on the Solaris station seemed to last ten hours for every nanosecond of real time. As I stepped off the transport I was certain that a huge crowd of armed guards would be waiting for me. But no one was. I was free. 

My next move was to head to the department complex and grab some boy clothes -- layers, I thought, go for layers. I got a sham thermal undershirt to go under a striped t-shirt and vest. I got pants that were baggy enough to hide my hips but not so big that they fell off. I topped it all off with one of the caps that I had noticed were the latest rage with teenage boys in the market and at the boys school. I never had seemed to develop much chest but I stole a small compression undershirt just for good measure. 

I was all dressed up with no place to go. Literally. But I felt good. 

I swaggered over to the food bins, then stopped. I looked at the signs with the regulations for cryo. No eating for twenty hours before going into cryo. I hadn't eaten for about ten hours I figured. So even though my stomach was rumbling I turned tail and marched over the to the public net bar. 

I made reservations for the next commercial transport. I don't even remember what the destination was, I just remember that I put my destination down as the very last, furthest stop. I figured I'd sort it all out when I got there. It was important just to get away and out of dodge. 

I filled in my reservation on the Hunter Gratzner so that it would look like it was made for me by my parents. 

I registered myself as Jack B. Badd, a little in-joke that Peter and I had shared once. I had a story ready, I remember. If anyone asked me, I was off to visit my aunt and my parents had arranged it all so I didn't know anything about anything. 

After making the reservation I had ten hours to kill. I knew that I couldn't sleep anywhere and expect to remain alive or in possession of my virtue and/or belongings. I ditched my old clothes somewhere -- I think I dumped them in a mail drop. 

I watched the news vids for a while and found out that there was no danger of being followed. Apparently fate had smiled on me and caused a crime spree to break out on the station where my school was and they probably figured I was another statistic. Killed or whatever. I didn't care. 

I sat by the vid screens and zoned out. I remember that I thought about Peter. If I had known how to contact him I would have done so right then in case he might have worried about me. I wondered if he or Mother thought about me. 

After a while I got restless. It's not easy killing ten hours in a jump station. Solaris has more interesting stations than most I hear. I saw a vid on it. They had the net bar, the vid screens, various adult entertainments, and who knows what else. I walked the length and width of the station, sticking mostly to the moving walkways. I liked those a lot. 

Then I went back to where my ship was supposed to leave from. 

I sat down and settled in for some people watching. Sometimes it can just be so relaxing to sit idly by while the world washes up around you. Like the water on the ocean vids my care-mom used to watch sometimes. She came from an ocean planet I think. 

I got some leery looks from people. I winked at some of the guys who stared at me. I knew what I was to them -- a lean little pretty boy all alone in a big station. I also knew they couldn't come near me because I had positioned myself next to one of the security boxes. I was a tease sitting there and I was enjoying every minute of it. 

It occurred to me that I could leave my post and actually seek out some sex, but when I started to think of all the unpredictable variables involved I couldn't see myself actually doing it. 

The thought of the danger inherent in such an action really turned me on but I was just a coward really. Someday, I told myself, you'll have some fun soon, I promise. 

I realize that it must seem that gender and sex were the only things I was thinking about throughout my whole life and I won't try to protest. What else was important, after all? Survival was gender and love was sex.. 

I could say that those ten hours passed by quickly but honestly they did anything but. They crawled by like... well, like something really really slow. Finally it was time to prep for cryo. I lined up to get on board. I was near the front since I was there so early. 

I looked around at my fellow passengers, those that I could see anyway. There was a long line behind me, about thirty or forty people I think it turned out to be but I didn't learn that until later. 

I noted with relief that I was far from being the most conspicuous of the passengers -- no one was likely to notice me when they had a high security prisoner all mummied up for transfer to the ship. 

There was a cop fussing over him and he kept yelling at the loaders and telling them to be careful until the captain quietly whispered something to him. I bet the captain pointed out how it wasn't smart to spook the other people who had to travel with the prisoner. 

Right behind me in line were some holy trekkers. I remembered that New Mecca was one of the stops on that route. I half wished that I had chosen that as my destination. I don't know what I would have done in New Mecca but I decided then and there that I wanted to visit as many places as I could before I settled down for good. 

I didn't notice the crew or anyone else too much besides that, I was too busy thinking about where I was going to go and how much better my life was going to be now that I was away from that school. 

I was done with my old life and headed toward new horizons. 

I had no idea what was going to happen. No premonitions, no suspicions, no doubts. 

I believe that my last thought before I fell into cryo was about the prisoner. I hoped briefly that he'd be able to escape someday too. 


	2. Wheel in the Sky

http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/disclaimers.html DISCLAIMERS!!! YOU MUST READ THESE FIRST 

Title: Jack B. Badd Part Two: Wheel in the Sky  
Author: Daryn  
Fandom: Pitch Black  
Pairing: Jack/Riddick (eventually)  
Rating: PG-13 for 2 curse words  
Email: dmunster@hotmail.com  
Series/Sequel: This is part two in the saga of Jack  
Web Page: http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, but damn I wish I did.  
Warnings: Jack is a boy. Read 'Disclaimers' page for more info  
Notes: Jack's POV. This is the story of Jack's life with emphasis on his experiences on the planet in Pitch Black. There is no sex, yet. Eventually Jack and Riddick will get groovy though.  
Summary: Years later Jack narrates his memories of the crash onto the Planet through Fry's near escape from the creatures that killed Zeke.   
Beta Credit: Colin and Cait. *hugs*  


* * *

I heard it all. I thought I was dreaming. I wouldn't let myself open my eyes. If I just kept my eyes closed it wasn't really happening, I was just dreaming. I forced my muscles to relax. 

The horrible sounds climaxed as I felt the ship slump heavily along the ground until it stopped. Silence. This was a silence that was not the absence of sound but that horrible sick energetic silence of air that has just been dancing and is settling down again. 

My pod was on its side on the floor. I could see out. I heard some people beginning to walk around. I saw feet. Boots. I kicked on my pod and slapped my hands on the glass front. A woman with long wavy hair bent down and looked in at me. 

She motioned for me to hold on. In a minute she was back with a cutting torch. I relaxed myself again so that I could roll out easily. 

In my head I prepared my greeting to the others. I decided to keep my voice as husky as possible, just in case. Play the bratty little boy, that was the ticket. You've survived whatever just happened and now you've gotta keep that up, I silently coached myself. 

The door opened, I rolled out and looked up, first at the woman then at the man who was standing next to her. "So I guess something went wrong?" I stated, more as an observation than anything else. 

The woman helped me up, "Hey kid. You're lucky you made it. I'm Shazza." "Zeke," said the man, gripping my shoulder as I caught my balance. "I'm Jack," I said, rubbing my neck and looking around at the mess. "We crashed didn't we?" I asked. "Yeah. Bloody horrible from the look of it," Zeke said. 

"You traveling alone Jack?" Shazza looked at me with concern. 

"Oh yeah, I was just going to visit..." I started but I stopped. What was my story? An aunt, that's right. 

Shazza just patted my shoulder. These were nice people. I was glad of that. 

A scream broke out from somewhere else in the wreckage. A man was yelling something. A few other people showed up and we headed slowly toward the source. 

A lady was leaning over a man who had this crazy spike thing sticking out of his chest, almost out of his heart. Somehow I knew that they were two of the crew members. I guess I just assumed it at the time but I was right. 

I kind of wanted to look away from that grisly sight but it was too surreal. I'd seen stuff like that in the vids thousands of times, but seeing it for real was just so demandingly human and primitive. I was glad when the crew lady told us to go. I shook myself and decided to head outside. 

I saw the prisoner on my way out -- he was chained with his hands behind him to a post. He had a bit in his mouth and a blindfold. That was crazy. Even though I only caught a passing glimpse of him I was able to register that he was totally built. 

Hmmm... big guys like that chained up... that was hot shit. I decided that the cop wasn't going to be my favorite guy around here. Even if there was a good reason to keep him locked up, I didn't feel that anyone really deserved to be locked up literally the way the I had _felt_ locked up at school. 

It wasn't fair. 

Wherever we were, it was breathtaking. Literally. An endless desert apparently. I'd seen vids with desert planets before. They were never happy places. 

The holy folks seemed to be praying a ways off. It made me wish that I had some kind of god to grateful to for having survived. But no, there was just me and the powers beyond my control. 

I sometimes think that I have a god too, I just call it fate. 

Ok. So I climbed up on top of the ship carcass and looked around. Zeke and Shazza were up there looking around and having some discussion of their own. I was so busy looking around I didn't notice the other folks coming up too. 

"I feel one lung short," Shazza said. "Yeah, I feel like I just ran or something," I agreed. the captain lady joined us around then. Shazza said how she and Zeke had talked about looking for other people before they saw the crash path -- probably a mile or smoking wreckage. 

Like the guy who was impaled in the ship, this was way creepy. It was so real yet unreal. 

Zeke ask, "What the hell happened up there?" The captain didn't know but Shazza said we should all be grateful to the captain. 

"Yeah, thanks for saving our dicks," I chimed in. Was I being too obvious? Nah, everyone was a bit too shaken up to worry about a silly thing like my gender when I was so obviously oozing little boy vibes. I guess even my attempts at coming off tough were seen more as normal boy behavior than anything else. 

I patted the captain on the shoulder - she didn't seem happy about her role as savior to us all. I was glad the funny old guy with the glasses was nice to her too. I liked him the way the kids in the vids like the eccentric uncle, you know? But the bastard cop guy was really cold with us all, and to her. 

The captain, her name was Fry, and Johns - the cop - headed off to explore the wreckage. After a second the funny old guy, Paris, hopped along after them, saying he might have some stuff to drink. Shazza and Zeke and I dug around looking for some oxy paks to help us all breathe better. 

I was just wondering about the prisoner again when the holy guys came over. "How may we help?" asked the grown man, their leader. 

"Ah, hi. I'm Shazza, this is Jack, Zeke's over there." "Please call me Imam, my boys and I are on hajj to New Mecca." "Well, the captain and some others are out there getting some water I think. You can see if they need help." 

Shazza handed the one oxy pak we'd found to the smallest of Imam's boys. He and Imam went to look for the captain and the other two helped us a bit. 

I felt good about my status here with these other boys - they didn't speak Common apparently and clearly their ideas of boyhood were much different from mine anyway. I was grateful to not be the only kid along. 

We had a few more oxy paks when the other group got back. "Got some booze, no water" said Fry. "That's EXPENSIVE booze," Paris chimed in testily. I was just beginning to wonder if I'd get any if there was nothing else to drink when Johns came running back from where he'd popped into the crash ship. 

"Where the hell is Riddick?" he demanded. "Who?" I said on impulse, of course realizing in the process of saying it that Riddick must be the prisoner's name. Johns ignored me of course and ran off toward the horizon. "I suppose it's the prisoner," Shazza said, looking after Johns. 

"Riddick..." I thought aloud. I thought I recalled some passing report, perhaps on the vids... Maybe even a vid based on his crimes, who knows. I was half glad he'd gotten out, but I was also sad and scared. 

Sad because there'd be no chance later to sneak in and stare at him -- it's not every day you get to see a big hot guy like that completely restrained unless you work at a kinky club or something. And I was scared too. Well, obviously, he could kill us or something. 

Oh stop it Jack, I thought, mentally slapping myself. You're stranded on a barren god damned rock, you could die and you're getting yourself all hard over some... bad boy... 

Johns came back then: "Ok, we have to go look for water anyway, right? I propose a water search team that will also attempt to locate and incapacitate Riddick. Ok with you, captain?" 

Fry paused a moment, "Yes, we'll do that. I'm going." "We shall go also," Imam said. "Good with me," said Johns. 

"Hey if I'm staying here - and I bloody well am - I'll need a weapon" Zeke put in. Johns nodded, "Let's see what we've got." 

As a group we headed toward the compartment that had what remained of the luggage hold. 

"What'd Riddick do?" I asked Johns.   
"Oh, just killed a lot of people."  
"How many?"   
"Jesus, kid, go bug someone else." I kicked the sand. 

Shazza squeezed my shoulder. I liked her. I bet if Mother had had half a chance in life she'd have been a bit like Shazza. 

Of course that's just wishful thinking since I never really even knew Mother. But still. 

While Johns grabbed some guns and Paris handed out some of his antique weapons I poked around a bit. Nothing else cool from the looks of it. I hopped back in. 

They were talking about Riddick again. Horny Jack was all ears. 

"Why would he come back to bother us?" Paris asked. "Maybe to rob you. Maybe scare you. Or just skull fuck you in your sleep," Johns was trying to be all like Billy Badass (hah, I used to watch that vid a lot with Peter). 

I didn't know then and I don't know now exactly what skull fucking entails but I have a hell of an imagination and besides, hearing the forbidden word 'fuck' (you could get ten demerits or expelled for saying it at school) used with reference to Riddick gave me butterflies. Time to duck out. 

I grabbed a cool boomerang thing and skipped ship. 

We went back to the crash ship and Shazza and I headed back to the forgotten oxy paks. Zeke and Shazza were amazing together. They hooked them up quick. Shazza got mine on me, knocking my hat off, and I took a hit. 

It was the first thing anyone had given me in a long time. I felt really happy about that. The search party was about to go when Paris pointed something out. 

"Three suns?" I was shocked. "So much for nightfall," Zeke said. Of course, no sunset. No night. Johns gave Zeke a gun an they were off toward the blue sun. I hoped they'd find water. I hated to think about what would happen if they didn't. I wasn't so worried about Riddick though. I didn't want Johns catching him again. 

So I decided to get whatever enjoyment I could out of whatever time I had left. It wasn't so much a conscious decision as a knee-jerk reaction to being faced so relentlessly with my own mortality. I noticed Paris setting up a primitive oasis on top of the ship. 

What would a playful kid do to his eccentric uncle in this situation? What would be fun for me to do? I giggled silently, grabbed my boomerang and snuck up behind him... and... POUNCE! 

I got him in a headhold with the boomerang. I bet I scared the shit out of him too. 

"He'd probably get you right here, under the jaw and you'd NEVER hear him coming," I used my silly-scary voice, "That's how GOOD Riddick is." 

"Did you run away from your parents or did they run away from you?" Paris retorted huffily. 

Good cover. I smirked and walked away. His glib comment reminded me that I really had nothing to go back to even if we did manage to get out of this mess. 

Oh well, that had been fun. I really had snuck up on him just like Riddick might do. Man, Peter and I would have had so much fun playing Riddick back in the day. Playing Riddick, haha... Best not to think about him. 

I hopped down and almost ran into Shazza.   
"Oh Jack, I'm going to work a bit on the other bit of the ship there, why don't you tag along?"   
"Sure. Where's Zeke?"   
"Digging some graves."   
"Oh. Where?"  
"Actually... hang on a tick. I'll see if I can see him."   
"Ok." 

I sat down and look at the boomerang closely. I was glad Shazza didn't treat me like just a kid but still helped me out with what I needed -- distraction. She came back after a minute. 

"Is he Ok?"   
"Yeah, no worries, come on." 

I'm not sure exactly what Shazza was doing, but I was helping the best that I could, letting my physical activity and alertness distract me from other thoughts. 

Suddenly Paris bounced in. "Tell me that was you just now," he panted. "What? He's been right here, helping me," Shazza protested. 

For two seconds I was able to feel offended that Paris might be accusing me of something, flattered, also, relieved, and happy to be affirmed as 'he', as well as worried about what had spooked Paris. 

All these feelings quickly turned to a rapid pulse, sweaty palms and cold fear as we heard the loud, metallic clang and thudding of heavy footsteps outside. 

A shadow moved across the light. I hopped to a hole and looked out. A man's legs, a man's waist... Riddick? - I mouthed silently to the others. 

Was it Riddick? Would he kill us? I was so jumpy. I wanted it to be him but I didn't want to die. 

Shazza got one of those crazy old weapons ready by the door. 

I leaned around the other side as far as I could, Paris leaning around me. Shazza leapt around with the weapon. My gut screamed out through my vocal chords "No!!!!" 

Was it the thought of Shazza killing anyone that I couldn't take? The thought of Riddick dying? What? Hindsight is a wonderful thing, as I've said. All the questions that have no answers can be asked in retrospect. 

The answer is still: I don't really know. 

"Oh my god I thought I was the only survivor!" The strange man's last words had almost no time to sink in before his blood was all over Shazza. 

The man fell, revealing Zeke, smoking weapon in hand. The body almost fell on top of my feet. 

Through my shock I sputtered "It was just somebody else from the crash!" 

I didn't meant to sound as harsh and I must have. Poor Zeke. He didn't know. He was so upset too as he got the body up to go and bury it. 

I don't guess there's much worse than for a good person to kill the wrong person and then have to the bury them too. 

Shazza and I cleaned the blood off of her and as much as we could off the ship. It was such a mess. Next thing I knew, gunshots were ringing out from where Zeke had gone off with the body and we heard him screaming. 

I hadn't quite registered it when Shazza was already halfway there. I started after her but ran back for my boomerang. 

When I got to where they were, Johns and Fry were there and Johns had Riddick. 

Fry was keeping Shazza from killing him, Riddick I mean. She kept screaming at him "What did you do to Zeke? Kill him!! Blood... all over..." she relaxed in Fry's grip. 

So much death, all at once. I couldn't take it. I backed away and dry-heaved a bit. I hadn't eaten since before cryo of course so I had nothing to vomit up. 

As they dragged Riddick back to the ship I noticed a few things. First, if Riddick had killed Zeke and it had been so bloody, how did Riddick have no blood on him? I didn't think he killed him. That didn't seem his... style. 

But what did I know about Riddick, let alone his "style"? It was just a feeling I had. I decided that if I was right then I would always follow my gut from then on. 

The eyes. That was the next thing that occurred to me on surveying the scene. Why was Riddick keeping his eyes closed so tight? Why did he seem helpless? Was he blind? Did he need some special thing to see that Johns had gotten away from him? 

The others were having a heated debate. 

"He killed Zeke."   
"You think he did all that?"  
"Who else?"   
"You don't know what this guy can do."   
"Look, he said he heard something. His knife wasn't bloody."   
"He says -- Jesus, you can't BELIEVE him!"   
"Look, I'll go see what he has to say." 

I snuck down the ladder on the top of the ship and positioned myself so I could see Riddick. He was tied up again... oh daddy, buy me that! 

My thoughts went on a rollercoaster: 'Whew, oh god, I bet he can smell me, I bet he knows I'm here. Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit I got my period. Well, I should be Ok. I saw some tampons in the other part of the ship, I'll snag one later.' 

Fry entered the ship. Riddick still had his eyes closed. He didn't even move to acknowledge her presence when she asked "Where the body?" 

He didn't answer. I wanted to hear his voice. I needed to hear it. My pulse was racing. Fry said something about some sounds. Riddick still didn't answer. 

"Fine," said Fry, turning to leave, "but we're thinking of leaving you here to die." 

And then it came -- like a velvet freight train crashing into my spine, one sweet disc at a time: "You mean the whispers?" 

I could have creamed my pants right there. That was the voice that I wanted to wake up to and fall asleep to. I was so caught up in the ecstasy of sound that was the voice of Richard B. Riddick that I couldn't even focus on what he said next. I came to in time to note that he was talking about killing -- a sweet spot. 

Oh yeah baby, I've got a sweet spot and you can touch it anytime. 

"All you people are so scared of me. Usually I take that as a compliment. But it ain't me you gotta worry about now." It was someone else. He didn't kill Zeke. I knew it. He would have gloated about it, not denied it. 

But then, who DID kill Zeke? 

"Show me your eyes Riddick," Fry ordered it but I was thinking it and wishing it too. "You'd have to come a lot closer for that." I was trying so hard not to breathe so hard. 

Fry slowly stepped forward. I knew what was coming. Riddick would stand up when she got... "Closer..." he purred... Aaaah! He did it, stood up and faced her down. 

And I saw his eyes. I hopped down and struck as cool a position as I could next to the ladder. I needed those eyes to look at me. They did just that. 

"Where the hell can I get eyes like that?" Oh I was so smooth! And the double meaning of my words amused me. Play it cool, play it cool... 

"Gotta kill a few people" the silky reply. 

"Ok I can do it" I know which ones I'd start with too, stupid school... I stepped closer. 

"Then you get sent to a Slam where you'll never see daylight again. Dig up a doctor and pay him twenty menthol Kools to do a surgical shine job on your eyeballs." 

I smiled. I had to. He said all that to ME. He had answered me. I almost giggled with glee, but instead I quipped "So you can see who's sneaking up on you in the dark?" 

The answer "Exactly" came with such a drop dead gorgeous smile that I could have died a happy boy right there. 

It almost softened Fry's demand of "Leave!" That wiped my smile away, but not Riddick's. If I were captain, I'd have wanted to be alone with him too. 

Oh well, I figured, that's how it goes for me. 

I hiked up the stairs again but not before I heard Riddick's comment to Fry: "Cute kid" and in my mind I could still see his smile in my mind and feel his eyes... 

He said I was cute! Oh my god! I felt elated. I had never had such a huge crush and I'd certainly never had so much positive fuel for the fire as it were. 

But he said "kid". Did he smell that I'm a girl but see that I'm a boy? Does that mean I'm just a kid to him and I'll die miserable and alone? I thought maybe I was too reading too much into those two words. 

But no, I told myself, it's just your own fantastical reading. Read it that way if it makes you happy. 

"What? Where have you been?" Shazza grabbed me. 

"I was listening," I tried to explain. She shook her head and just stood there, holding my arm. 

Fry came out of the ship. "We've got to go in there." "What do you mean 'we', pale face?" I guess Johns was making some joke that I just didn't get. 

We all followed Fry toward the hole. I popped back to grab my boomerang and ran to catch up. Johns was saying how he was sure Riddick had hidden Zeke's body in the hills. 

"We've got to be sure," Fy insisted. I bet she was having the same gut feelings as me. "Look, Riddick belongs in the asshole hall of fame," Johns continued. 

Yeah well, he's not the only one. 

"Hey, I'll go," I offered. I wanted to prove Johns wrong, but I also knew they'd never let me. So volunteering was just another good way of maintaining the bratty boy gotta-prove-myself front. 

"No one is going," Fry said. She and Johns started some exchange about proving themselves. I was wondering when their pants were coming down for the pissing contest. 

We got to the hole and Fry was the one who was strapped down and headed in. Imam held the line. The blood was already baked and the hole really stank. 

We watched Fry disappear into the hole. I held my breath on and off. It could only have been a couple of minutes of silence. Then Imam said he thought he heard something. 

I heard it too. It wasn't coming form the hole though. I stood up and that gut of mine led me right to it - one of those tower things, Fry was in there, shouting. 

Johns broke through and we reached in and pulled her out. 

"I heard you Fry! I heard you first!" I babbled, hoping and hoping she was all right. "Fry, are you Ok?" I fussed. 

I was so glad it hadn't been me but that damn nagging guilt was threatening me. "What's down there, what is it?" The others were all talking too as we helped Fry away. 

"Fuck!" she said finally, "I don't know what the fuck is in there but it got Zeke and it almost got me" and she almost got pulled back in. 

Johns and Imam managed to unharness he in time though. 

I thought at that point I'd had all the scares I could take. 

Silly me. 


	3. A Day Without Rain

http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/disclaimers.html DISCLAIMERS!!! YOU MUST READ THESE FIRST 

Title: Jack B. Badd Part Three: A Day Without Rain  
Author: Daryn  
Fandom: Pitch Black  
Pairing: Jack/Riddick (eventually)  
Rating: PG-13 for a few curse words  
Email: dmunster@hotmail.com  
Series/Sequel: This is part three in the saga of Jack  
Web Page: http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, but damn I wish I did.  
Warnings: Jack is a boy. Read 'Disclaimers' page for more info  
Notes: Jack's POV. This is the story of Jack's life with emphasis on his experiences on the planet in Pitch Black. There is no sex, yet. Eventually Jack and Riddick will get groovy though.  
Summary: Years later Jack narrates his memories from the Planet from Fry's confrontation with Riddick through the decision to run for the skiff.   
Beta Credit: Colin and Cait. *hugs*  


* * *

The others began to discuss logistics. What would we do? 

They decided that we should go to the settlement that the search party had found and we would take a power cell and check out the skiff they found there. 

"We may need Riddick's help," Johns looked at Fry. 

"What?"  
"Look, I'll make him a deal and he won't be a danger. We don't need him another liability here." 

Fry looked at Johns for a moment. Neither spoke. 

Fry eventually said, "If you can get him to agree on helping us and guarantee everyone here's safety then go ahead." Oh be still my poor adolescent heart. 

Johns headed in. I slipped away a little later to spy. I wanted to see what would happen. 

As I put my face up to the opening, I could see Riddick from a distance and the back of Johns' head. "I'm tired of chasing you," Johns was saying. 

Riddick's voice was too low to hear, I picked up something Johns said about Riddick dying in the crash. Then I couldn't believe my ears. Riddick said, "My recommendation -- do me." My eyes stretched wide and I almost gasped before I realized that he meant that Johns should kill him. 

"JACK?" I heard Shazza and slowly backed away. 

I hopped down. "Stop doing that," she said stiffly and I sheepishly apologized as we rejoined the group. 

"Fry?" I ventured. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just give me a minute..." I backed off. I stared out at the hills where Zeke had died. 

I turned around to see Riddick storm out of the ship. Holy shit, I thought, did he kill Johns? But Johns was hot on his heels (so to speak). 

"Ok. Here we go," Johns said simply. 

Everyone got busy grabbing gear. I took the opportunity to hop over to the other compartment and grab myself a tampon. 

I was throwing random things into a pack when I noticed some goggles. They were white, one of the lenses was broken, and so was the strap but I scrounged up a roll of black tape. I fixed them up and pulled them down over my eyes. 

I felt a little amused at my own childish attempt to be more like Riddick. Oh well, who was it going to hurt, after all? 

I slung my boomerang under the back of my pack and waited with the others. Paris took a little longer. He was picking up more booze. 

As we headed off in the direction that the others had followed when they set out earlier, I toyed with the idea of hanging back a bit to be nearer to Riddick but decided that I shouldn't risk anyone's wrath or possibly hurting Shazza. 

I walked behind Shazza and Johns instead. 

"He's one of us now?" Shazza asked. he sounded more than a little skeptical and cynical but I could sense a real question in her voice. "Well, are least this way I won't have to worry about all you," Johns replied. 

I quickened my step and ask, eagerly, "So can I talk to him now?" I received emphatic "No"s all around. 

I glanced back a few times to watch Riddick dragging the power cell. It occurred to me that Johns and Riddick had a very S/M type of relationship going. Of course at the time I didn't quite have the words to describe that observation, I just felt it and it made me... something like happy and horny only different. 

We passed through a canyon and into the deserted settlement. Fry pointed to the ship they had found. It really was just a skiff -- but it was as glorious as a interstellar battle cruiser to me. I got excited and ran in. 

I looked around, wishing that I knew how to run a ship. I figured that once it got off the ground I could probably ask Fry some questions about it. 

As I walked out Shazza was saying, "Well, it's not a star jumper." "Doesn't need to be." Riddick stood jauntily by, with his hands behind his back. He was talking about the ship and getting off that planet and all I could do was stare at him. 

It was no wonder that chains couldn't hold him for long. I noted with no small amount of cynicism that Riddick's tits were probably bigger than mine. 

"Ain't that right, captain?" Riddick was smirking. Fry ignored him. "Can I have a little help here?" On reflex I bent to help but they had it under control. 

Riddick sidled over but Johns stopped him. "Whoa, do my a favor..." I don't know what he asked him but I skipped off. I was getting too hot under the collar, being so close to Riddick. 

I went into one of the houses and poked around. Whoever lived there left just about everything from the look of it. I found a shaver. 

After two seconds thought I did it -- in a frenzy I shaved all my hair off right there (well, in the sink and watching my progress in the mirror). 

I told myself that it was just a smart thing to do: keep my head cool, be more boyish and all that. Deep down of course I know it was because I wanted to be like Riddick so badly. Or maybe I wanted to make it look that way to make him like me. Flattery and all that, like with the goggles. 

I don't know. Pick your own reason. But in any case, I did it. And I've never regretted it since. 

I stepped back from the mirror and looked at myself. I grinned. I turned around to see the smallest of Imam's boys, Ali, standing there. I grinned at him and beckoned for him to come with me. 

Who knows what he was thinking. Since we didn't speak the same language we could choose our own meanings for the game we played. I was imagining that Ali was my little brother and that I was like Peter, looking out for him, and that we would have to watch Riddick so that we could learn how to survive by following what he did. 

We found a vantage point. I put on my goggles and we watched Riddick walk through the compound. He stopped short in front of the last building. 

"Let's go," I whispered to Ali. This was fun and it was good to forget about the bigger problems by losing myself in this game. We snuck around and I hid under a tarp which hid the top of the building that Riddick had paused in front of. 

I didn't notice where Ali had gone off to. I peeked out and saw Riddick squatted on the ground, looking at something. 

I backed away when he stood up and walked toward the building. He was just pulling on the tarp and I was holding my breath when I heard a whistle and Johns call out "You're missing the party. Come on, boy." 

I let my breath out but immediately gasped it back in as the tarp was yanked away and I was staring into Riddick's goggles. 

"You're missing the party, come on," he said to me, completely deadpan, in a voice that half-spoofed Johns. And he walked away. 

"Oh man," I sighed. I stood up and watched Riddick's back. I wanted to bounce around and release some of my nervous energy. Instead, I leapt off the roof and followed him. 

I hopped up into the house where everyone was hanging around a table full of glasses with water. One of my worries shrank away: they had gotten the water contraption working. 

I pulled up my goggles and lifted a glass, coming face to face with Paris. He stared at me. I looked around and saw that everyone was staring at me. 

I felt giddy I think: happy to be noticed but also defensive of my own excuses for the haircut. So I retorted with the classic "What?" Paris said, "It's the winner of the lookalike contest." I smirked, took my glass, and sat down to listen to the others talk. 

Shazza said the people who lived there were probably geologists. "But why'd they leave their stuff here?" Fry pointed out. 

"There people didn't leave," Riddick showed up in the doorway, fussing with his goggles, "Whoever got Zeke got them. They're all dead." 

The others protested but Riddick said, "I know you don't prep your emergency ship unless there's a fucking emergency." I liked the way Riddick was standing up to them. "He's fucking right," I threw in, just for kicks. 

Johns told me to watch my mouth. Hmmm, I thought, I'd like to watch my mouth and Riddick's mouth... Concentrate Jack! 

At this point Imam realized that Ali was missing and we were off to check the coring room. 

As we approached the coring room (which turned out to be the building on whose roof Riddick had surprised me) I was feeling scared and more than a little responsible. I got really scared when we heard Ali scream. 

Johns shot the door in. I couldn't believe that I hadn't been looking out for Ali. I damned myself for being so infatuated with Riddick that I had forgotten about my little game. And as the realization that encouraging Ali in our game I had probably caused his death, I lunged forward, after Johns, but Fry pulled me back and told me to wait. 

When that huge cloud of flying things appeared we all jumped back. I was frozen with fear. Imam was in there now too and I hated to think of what I might have caused. 

Too many things were happening too fast. I wanted a time out. I wanted a break. I couldn't look as they took Ali's body away. I just stood in the doorway while Riddick, Johns, Fry and Shazza looked around the coring room. 

They finally boarded it up and went back to the house with the planet model thing. Riddick had the oxy pak that I had seen Shazza trying to give him. I was vaguely glad to see that they had sort of made up. 

I sat for a while and looked around me. I wondered if there had been kids in this place. I wondered about their lives. I just sat and spaced out for a while until Johns and Fry left the house and headed for the ship. 

I hopped up then and almost bumped into Riddick as he stepped out the door. 

"Hey," he said. "Yeah," I gulped. "Know where a guy can get some shaving apparatus in this dump?" he grinned at me and I swear he winked under his goggles. 

I slid my own goggles down. "Hell yeah." 

I dashed off and rustled up some shave gel and paste that had gone a bit sour (but I didn't think Riddick would complain), a bucket, and a shiv. I knew Riddick probably wasn't supposed to have one but my gut was saying to do it. 

Besides, I just didn't see Riddick using the shaver and maybe if I handed him the shiv he'd assume that I had used it to do my head. Oh what I wasn't willing to do to come across as tough... 

I ran up and presented my findings. "Thanks." Riddick sat down and set to shaving his head. I sat down in the shade of the ship to watch. Johns came out of the ship and retched a bit. I just watched Riddick and wondered if Ali was in heaven or what and if there even was a heaven. 

When Riddick had finished he tossed me the bucket: "You should probably go lay down or something." I walked off toward the house where I had found the shaver with the vague plan of laying down there after throwing the bucket into the waste bin. 

I saw Imam praying with his other two boys and I walked over there instead, wondering if they would be offended if I joined them. Imam indicated for me to join them. 

I didn't pray. I just say there with them, my goggles down, and took comfort in their presence. After a while I felt better and I looked up. Imam looked up too and saw what I saw -- but he understood what it meant and I did not. Not then anyway. 

He told his boys something in Arabic and they took off running. "What is that?" I asked him. "There is an eclipse coming." I shivered. No. This just kept getting better and better. 

We walked back. Everyone stood and looked at the moving planet on the horizon. "We'd better get the stuff from the crash ship," Shazza pointed out, "The sandcat is solar." I climbed on the sandcat. 

"Where's Riddick?" I yelled, ready to panic if he didn't show up. But just then he leaped down onto the cat. 

As we sped along I stood opposite Riddick and pulled down my goggles, trying to be as unsubtle as possible in my message of 'hey, I'm trying to be like you'. He just stared at me, perhaps the corner of his mouth twitched a little, and made a slight movement with his fingers. 

I looked, and dropped just in time to avoid being killed by one of those giant skeletons we had passed under in the canyon. He's looking out for me, I thought. 

That was only one of many thoughts which floated through my head as the sandcat made its noisy way through the desert. 

We reached the crash ship at last and I jumped to the ground. I didn't see anything for me to do as the others ran around like crazy people. 

Then as I turned, I was facing the eclipse. I felt so small and insignificant, all my fears and worries threatened to possess me at once. I ran back and started frantically wiping the sandcats's solar caps -- anything to help our chances of getting back. Anything to keep my mind from the prison of despair. 

Anything to keep from breaking down. 

The cells were loaded. But the sandcat died. 

As the last ray of light was intercepted by that planet (and damn it was moving so fast, it defied all logic) and the purr of the motor came to a halt my stomach turned and a sour taste filled the back of my mouth. 

I swallowed back the fear as the noise began. It was the first time I heard it and I will never forget it or the powerful message of human insufficiency that it belied. 

I still have nightmares about that noise. I can't even describe it without getting chills. 

Next thing I knew, Paris was yelling for us to flee. And flee we did. I sprinted to where Paris stood in the storage section, apart from the ship. Only when I reached the doorway, feeling for all the world like a child caught in a deadly game of tag who has just touched the 'safe' marker but knows that it doesn't mean much, did I dare to turn and look back. 

I can't describe the sight of all those things flying through the twilight. Nothing in the vids had prepared me for this sight. I tore my gaze from the sky to where Shazza and Riddick were, still running. And the creatures were gaining. They each leapt down the hill and the things flew RIGHT over them. 

I crossed my fingers and toes. Those were the things that had gotten Ali, those were the things that had gotten Zeke. Their passing was followed by a moment of silence like the silence after the crash only with the promise of return. 

Shazza got up. No! Fry yelled "Get down!" They were coming back. "No, stay there!" I heard myself shouting. I struggled, I could feel Paris holding me back. 

"Just stay down Shazza," my shout turned to a scream. I couldn't take it. Not again. Not Shazza. 

As her body was lifted away, I went limp. Would I cry? Not yet. I focused for a moment on Riddick. Be like Riddick, I told myself. Just shrug it off and survive. There was nothing you could do. Don't cry. 

Paris was the only thing keeping me from collapsing back against the side of the ship. The tears were threatening to fall. I barely felt Paris steer me inside. I needed hope and I wasn't seeing any. What was to keep those things from getting all of us? 

I decided that this was the point at which I would just have to throw my life into the hands of these adults -- for better or worse. 

We were in the storage hold now. I figured if I talked it would be easier to avoid crying: "If she'd only stayed down she'd be Ok," the tears were at bay, "She wouldn't have died." 

Vocalizing my pain helped it to ease back, I could distance myself from it. 

"Remember the boneyard?" Johns asked, "These are probably the fuckers that killed everything on this planet." "What are we gunna do now?" I wanted to know. Paris brought up the crucial question, "Are these the only lights we have?" "No, there's the cutting torch," Fry looked around for it. 

"Quiet please," Imam and his remaining kids listened at the wall. I did too. What the hell are they, I wondered, and will it hurt if they kill me? "Why do they do that, make that sound?" I asked. Imam suggested, "Maybe it's the way they see." 

Suddenly there was a horrible metallic clanking noise. 

Oh shit. 

"Could be a beach in the hull," Fry ventured. Riddick was closest to the noise. "Johns, you got the big gauge," Riddick said suggestively. "I'd rather piss glass. Why don't you go fucking check?" came Johns' caustic answer. 

Imam opened another door or something -- I was pretty disoriented. We all filed into a smaller room. Imam locked the door behind us. Fry patted my shoulder. I guess it can be good to be the runty kid cuz I sure appreciated the physical comfort. 

Suddenly something stabbed through the door right next to Imam. We scampered away. I was breathing fast. Riddick lit the cutting torch from Paris' lighter and began to burn us an escape route. I think. Johns was just shooting. I remember thinking 'let it be over, let it be over.' 

We crawled through the hole after Riddick. I wanted so badly for him to hold me and just tell me it was all going to be Ok. Just let Riddick live to do that, I thought. 

Maybe it was a prayer. I guess it was. I kept back with Imam and one of the other kids. 

Riddick had gone to check around I think. Johns and Fry headed in that direction too. "Riddick?" Fry called out. "Don't stop burning," came the slow, deliberate answer. Oh shit, I thought. Imam suddenly asked where his other boy was. 

OH SHIT. 

What happened next was just a confusing jumble of flashes. Riddick came running and got a face full of handlight and Johns shot one of those monsters down. I watched and let it happen around me. 

Oh shit, I thought again, without much feeling. 

I leaned in with the others to look at the scalding carcass. No, it was only scalded where the light touched it. "Light hurts them," Fry said. Thank you, captain obvious. 

"Let's get out of here," Johns said. Good idea. 

We sat around our light inventory. "Maybe we have enough light," Fry said. "Enough for what?" Johns spit. "We get the cells back to the skiff," Fry came back. 

Made sense, in a way, I figured. But... "You mean tonight? With all those things out there?" I asked. No use not showing my fear now. 

Johns asked my other questions. "How long can this last?" Yeah, I thought, maybe it'll be over soon. "I'm sure someone else said that," Fry replied. Of course. I realized then that we couldn't stake our lives on the possibility of it letting up. 

"What about the kid?" said Johns, pointing at me, "How scared's this boy gunna be out there?" Good point, I thought, but... "Don't use him like that," Fry retorted. Yeah, I may have been scared be we had to get out of there. 

"Shut up," Johns was so stupid. "How much do you weight Johns?" Fry asked coldly. "About 79 kilos. Why?" "Cuz you're 79 kilos of gutless white meat." Ooooo. You go Fry. But Johns didn't think so. 

He rushed forward with his gun. But that gun ended up pointed at Riddick's head as he stepped between them. Riddick slowly pulled up his goggles and looked at Johns. 

I looked down to see Riddick's shiv tapping John's thigh, right on his crotch. 

Dammit, Johns was going to get us all killed or kill us himself. This was getting so terribly Lord of the Flies (I saw that vid with my carefather and Peter and I was trying so hard to keep it out of my mind at this point). 

Fry chose this moment to baby me a bit. I didn't mind, I was grateful really. "They're afraid of our light," she put her arm around me, "So we don't have to be afraid of them." Like hell, I thought. But it made me feel better. 

I could put my life in other people's hands and they would take care of me. I was important to them (or at least to Fry). I could at least fake myself into feeling kind of safe. 

"And you can get us there?" Imam looked at Fry expectantly. 

She stood up. 

"No. I can't. But he can," she pointed at Riddick. 


	4. A Lasting Darkness?

http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/disclaimers.html

DISCLAIMERS!!! YOU MUST READ THESE FIRST 

Title: Jack B. Badd Part Four: A Lasting Darkness?  
Author: Daryn  
Fandom: Pitch Black  
Pairing: Jack/Riddick (eventually)  
Rating: PG-13 for a few curse words  
Email: dmunster@hotmail.com  
Series/Sequel: This is part four in the saga of Jack  
Web Page: http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, but damn I wish I did.  
Warnings: Jack is a boy. Read 'Disclaimers' page for more info  
Notes: Jack's POV. This is the story of Jack's life with emphasis on his experiences on the planet in Pitch Black. There is no sex, yet. Eventually Jack and Riddick will get groovy though.  
Summary: Years later Jack narrates his memories of the survivor's daring escape from the Planet.   
Beta Credit: Colin and Cait. *hugs*  


* * *

We set out to get whatever lights we could from the crash ship. I skittered out and held onto the sleeve of Imam's last remaining boy. I huddled next to him. Being near Imam made me feel safer too. 

Riddick was behind me. I wondered if he would reach out to me. I half hoped that he would, but I didn't need any erotic distractions just then. 

Fry called Riddick forward to look at the crash ship and scope it out. "Looks clear," he declared. Johns stepped forward and suddenly one of those big things flew out at us. We dropped. 

"You said clear," Johns accused. "I said it looks clear," Riddick shot back. "What's it look like now?" Riddick peeked up and casually turned back to Johns. "Looks clear." 

We hustled around the ship, grabbing any source of light we could. I collected some of those glow tube things while the others packed the cells onto the sandcat sled and got the generator set up. I think Paris was converting his booze bottle to light bottles. 

Riddick and Fry walked past me. "And check your cuts," I heard him saying "These bad boys know our blood now." Shit. My period. The tampon. I had almost forgotten. 

FUCK. 

I ran a light under my hand and watched it glow red through my skin. I told myself that it was probably other blood that attracted the monsters and that my period wouldn't matter. I couldn't tell them. I didn't want to run even the slightest chance of being left behind. Besides, it was a little late and totally bad timing to mention my little dilemma. 

It joined all those other worries in the back of my brain where they were silently congregating. 

Try not to think. Just do. I looked at my hands. My living hands. I was alive. I wanted to stay that way. 

We were all set to go. "Just stay together, in the light, and we'll be fine," Fry said as she ran back in to collect Johns. I clung to the other boy's sleeve for a while and patted his arm. We sort of half-grinned half-grimaced at each other in a mutual acknowledgment of the horrific reality of our situation. 

I looked around for Riddick. Maybe he was inside too, with Fry and Johns. The adults were planning our actions and I was content to let them do so. For a fleeting moment it occurred to me to wonder what would happen to Riddick if we got off the planet. Would Johns still take him back to prison? I found myself briefly hoping that Johns wouldn't make it. But I pushed the thought away. 

No more thoughts of death. Just concentrate on living. 

We were finally all set to go. The physical exertion of keeping up with the sled, pointing the light outward and concentrating on Riddick's back as he ran ahead was enough to keep my mind off of my worries. 

We slowed down. I pointed my light stick out at the dark. I couldn't see anything. Then the cutting torch died. We kept on going but Paris dropped one of the flares or bottles or something. Without thinking I said "Wait, I'll get it," assuming that I'd just grab it and be done. 

Looking back on this I can't believe my own naive stupidity. Is it any wonder that for so long I blamed myself for just about everyone's death on that horrid planet? 

As I bent to pick up the dropped light source Johns started firing into the air and Imam grabbed me. Paris chose that moment to crawl off. In doing that he killed the generator and all the tubing died. Johns lit a flare and we lit the bottles. 

I think that was about the time that they (the monsters) started in on Paris. Riddick was staring off in that direction. I stared too. I wanted to know what he was seeing but at the same time I didn't want to know. If I hadn't stopped... if I hadn't stepped away from the light... 

I felt Riddick's eyes on me. Oh shit. Just oh shit. I wanted to wake up, have it all be just a nightmare. "Are we getting close?" I asked Fry. And we all stopped. We'd crossed our own tracks. 

"Listen," said Riddick, "Canyon's ahead. I circled once to buy some time to think." 

Imam said, "I think we should go now." 

"I don't know about that," said Riddick, "That's death row up there, especially with the girl bleeding." 

The words didn't sink in. My thoughts went first to Fry then to the unthinkable. This was happening to someone else. I looked around quickly. They were looking at me. 

How do you explain your life and who and what you are in a situation like that? 

I stepped back. "I just thought it'd be better if people took me for a guy," I started. "I thought they might leave me alone instead of always messing with me..." 

I couldn't take this. This was not what any of us needed. Fuck. 

I sat down heavily and hugged my knees. I wasn't playing the pathetic kid. I WAS the pathetic, sad, scared kid. Fry knelt down and put her arm around me. 

"I'm sorry," she said. I don't think anyone had ever said that to me before. "I'm sorry sweetheart, are you really bleeding?" 

I was gunna cry. Fuck again. "You could've left me at the ship, Fry. That's how come I didn't say anything..." I don't think I could have ever sunk lower than I was right there at that moment. Imagine feeling like total and complete shit and take that to the nth power. Add a guilt trip and you've almost got something resembling a shadow of what was tearing my heart apart. 

Fry wanted to go back. Jesus, I thought, how much of a total fuck up am I? I stood up and watched them. Christ, the way Johns talked to Fry made me want to kill him... or myself. 

Imam yelled at Johns, "She is the captain, listen to her!" 

"When she was so willing to sacrifice us?" Johns sneered. 

"What's he talking about?" 

"She was going to blow the whole passenger cabin, kill us all in our sleep," Johns raved. Fry rushed him and he knocked her down. I was frozen. I hoped Johns died. I was a hotbed of emotions and fear. 

Johns and Riddick moved ahead. Imam helped Fry to her feet and we followed after them. I tried to stay in the middle of the others. 

"What're they doing up there?" I asked, watching Johns and Riddick whisper to each other. "Talking about how to get through the canyon I suppose" I was glad that Imam was still nice to me and to Fry. I really liked him. 

I watched Riddick and Johns. Riddick half-turned one time. Fry told us to let them get further ahead. 

My gut was talking to me again -- it was screaming danger but not giving me any details. The two men stopped up ahead. Riddick turned to face Johns. 

Out of nowhere he knocked the flare out of Johns hands and attacked him. We dropped the sled and ran back. We paused for a minute. I caught my breath as we looked around. 

Fry screamed and we all screamed and jumped. There was Riddick. "Back to the ship, huh?" he gazed at us with those killer eyes. "Til the lights burn out and you can't see what's eating you." "Where's Johns?" Imam asked. "Which half?" Damn Riddick was cold. 

"We're gunna lose everybody out here," I said out loud, "We should have stayed at the ship." I just wanted to curl up right there. "He died fast, the way we all should if we have a choice," Riddick said loudly. 

I just looked out into the darkness. I felt him coming up behind me, his hand lightly brushing the small of my back and my waist. 

"Don't you cry for Johns," he whispered, "Don't you dare." 

Oh right. I couldn't cry for Johns if I wanted to. Riddick probably knew that. I felt it then. He was telling me that he killed Johns or let Johns get taken for my sake. Something he and Johns must have been talking about. 

Instead of registering this as possibly an attempt on Riddick's part to stop me from blaming myself for Johns' death, it just added his name to the growing list in my mind under the heading of 'People Whose Death I Was Responsible For'. 

I wanted to cry again. I wanted to throw my arms around Riddick. To hug him or choke him -- I don't know. 

We followed Riddick back to where we had left the cells. He went to tie them together while Imam sat us down in a circle to pray. I didn't pray. I just wished right there that if there was a god besides fate that this god would let things work out. I wanted us all to get out of there. Imam walked over to where Riddick must have been. 

I looked at the last of Imam's boys. Damn, I thought. He must be so scared. He doesn't speak Common and has no idea... I scooted over to him and took his hand. He couldn't know for sure what that exchange had been all about. Who knows if he saw me as a guy, girl, or what. It didn't matter. The three of us sat close together until Imam came back to fetch us. 

We stood in the mouth of the canyon. I could hear the things but I flashed my light around and I didn't see them. 

"We got that way," said Riddick, "Just keep the girl between you." Oh sure, now I'm just 'the girl'. Not Jack or anything. Oh well, I was still alive and not about to complain. Riddick grabbed the cells. 

"Move!" he bellowed. And we were off. I felt like we would run and run forever, but we weren't quite that lucky. Suddenly a huge cloud of those things came at us. They passed but the things were killing each other above us, bodies and blood fell from the sky. Then we hit a huge pile of bones and carcasses. 

Imam's boy was the last one through and one of those things must have still been alive cuz it cut his foot up something awful. 

After I saw that he wasn't dead I realized that Riddick was still going. I turned and stepped toward him. I called after him, but he didn't stop. I called again. I turned to look back. They weren't coming yet. 

Oh shit -- I heard it coming, my gut made me dive under a skeleton just in time. But it had me pinned and was breaking through. 

I screamed. I struggled. My life flashed in front of my eyes. I saw Mother's face in front of me as clear as a picture. Mother smiling and laughing. 

I frantically looked toward Riddick. He had stopped I think - but I couldn't see his eyes. I heard Fry yelling. I tried to think of what I wanted my dying words to be when suddenly it was off of me. 

I rolled away and Fry caught me and helped me up. We watched as Riddick grappled with the thing. I didn't think. I just watched as he gutted it and triumphantly growled "Did not know who he was fucking with." Then he looked at me and he grinned. I laughed a little. A hysterical laugh I think. 

Then we were off again, Riddick running ahead with the cells. The Arab boy fell down and we paused while Imam and Fry helped him up. 

I felt something hit my face. More alien blood? No. Rain. 

Rain? 

I felt like screaming but I couldn't do it. I tried to shield my bottle flame. Then I heard Riddick. 

He was laughing. Damn that was a beautiful noise. "Where's your god now?" he challenged Imam as the rain pelted down. 

We ducked under a sort of overhang and Fry and I tried to keep our bottles lit. Imam tried to dress the boy's cut and Riddick hopped up on some rock on the other side of the canyon. 

"Just tell me we're almost there," Fry yelled to him. "We can't make it," he said. Don't say that, I thought. 

Without warning the boy was lifted right out of Imam's hands. I tried frantically to see what happened. He was gone. Imam jumped at the cliff face and fell to his knees, crying out, before he fell to the muddy ground. Once again I wanted to die or to kill something. 

Riddick grabbed me just then, by the shoulders. "Come on," he called to the others. He ran to a rock and pushed it, revealing a cave. "Hide in here," he ordered. I went in first and found the back. 

I looked back to see Riddick push the rock back in place. I looked at Imam. He walked to where the opening had been. 

"Why is he still out there?" I asked. Fry shook her head. 

I sat down. She did too. I poured the last of the alcohol in my bottle into hers and wiped the wick in there too. We could hear the monsters outside. 

"He's not coming back, is he?" I said. I don't know if I believed it or not. I couldn't just give up hope. But people had never made it a habit of coming through for me. 

As I watched the flame, I thought about Mother and Peter. We could hear the things screeching outside somewhere. My life had already flashed by once and I wasn't looking forward to a second helping. 

The flame sputtered valiantly and died. Like the sandcat had died. Like the glow tubes had died. Like Zeke had died. Like Shazza, Ali, Johns, Paris... like they all had died. Like we might die any minute now. 

I took Fry's hand. I hoped she was Ok. Then I noticed that she was looking at my hand. And I looked. I could see. I could see my hand. I could see her. We looked up. 

Along the walls of the cave were dozens of little glowing blue bug things. We quickly emptied the other bottle and started collecting the bugs in the bottles. At that point I wasn't questioning anything. No thoughts or questions. I didn't care where the bugs came from or what they were. It only mattered that they were there and they gave off light. And light would keep us alive. 

When one bottle was full Fry looked me in the eye and said, "Ok. We'll come back with more light. I promise." 

"Ok," I said, weakly, just accepting this as the way things had to be. 

"May God watch over you," Imam clasped her hand and helped her crawl out. I started collecting more bugs and shoving them in the other bottle. "That's the last I could find," I said sooner than I had hoped to. 

Nothing left now but to huddle around that little bottle and hope that nothing too terrible decided to snack on us before they got back. 

If they got back. Or if they decided to come back. If they didn't leave us there. 

It can't have been more than ten minutes but if I thought that any time before that had even come close to being an eternity, I was sorely mistaken. 

I could let myself think about anything. I said to myself that Fry would come back -- she had promised. And Riddick would come too. He had saved my life. People didn't just save other people's lives and then let them die. 

Or did they? What did I know about people. I was just a kid. 

I let myself get lost in my memories. I replayed vids in my head. I conjured up Peter and imagined a conversation with him. I was just describing Riddick to him when the rock started moving and it acquired my undivided attention. 

When Fry appeared in the opening, relief washed over me. When she moved aside and I saw Riddick there, grinning at me, I could have burst out in song. 

"Never had a DOUBT!" I told him, deliriously. "Anyone not ready for this?" he said conversationally. "There is my God, Mr. Riddick," Imam said triumphantly. 

I wanted to yell 'group hug' but it seemed like a bad idea, according to the old gut. So I just ran along at Riddick's heels, holding up the bottle. 

Riddick had us stop at one point and form a daisy chain to go through a crowd of those horrible things. They rushed around us and we were knocked down by the force from their wings. 

Riddick pulled me up by my shirt and threw me forward. "Go on, keep moving." We ran on, toward the light. 

I stopped and looked into the ship, catching my breath for what I hoped was the last time that night. Or day. Lifetime. Eternity. 

Fry pushed me into the ship. But where was Riddick? We stood there. Waiting. 

Suddenly Riddick's screams came across the compound. Imam held me back, Fry ran off. 

Oh shit. Again. 

I paced back and forth. "Can you... can you fly one of these?" I asked Imam, my voice was shaking like a leaf. 

"No." 

I shook my head. I turned in circles for a minute. It felt good to be dizzy. I wanted to yell profanities to let off steam but I didn't want to do that to Imam. 

Imam called "Jack!" and I ran out to help him get Riddick inside. I looked around. No Fry. Riddick's leg was all torn up. Imam was wrapping it up. Riddick looked like he was in a lot of pain. He looked really shaken up. 

I took one of the cleaner rags up and used it to wipe off his face as gently as I could. I couldn't think of a thing to say. I held Riddick's hand. 

Riddick's hand closed around me and with a quick jerking motion he twirled me into the crook of his arm. He just held me there against his chest, burying his face between my shoulder blades. I patted his arm. I think Imam must have tapped him on the should after a while cuz he slowly let go of me and I got up. 

We helped him to his feet. He walked over and sat down at the pilot's seat. the back hatch closed. Imam and I sat down. 

He said, "So much prayer to make up -- I don't know where to begin." "I know where I'd start," I said. I hoped he would pray for the ship to start off and us to get off that rock immediately if not sooner. 

The engines flared up. I watched Riddick. All of a sudden he started turning everything off. I assured myself that he must have known what he was doing, but... "Riddick, what are you doing?" I asked. It's the kind of question you ask when you know absolutely what the person is doing, but you need to know why. 

I could hear them outside. I practically hissed, "Can we just get the hell out of here?" 

"We can't leave" Riddick said over his shoulder. I gasped as the creatures started throwing themselves on the front of the skiff. 

"Without saying goodnight," Riddick finished and he threw the engines on full. 

I smiled again, but... all the real enjoyment or happiness I might have gotten from the sight of those things burning up was robbed from me by the memory of all those people who had died. Shazza... Zeke... Paris... the boys... even Johns... and Fry. Fry should have made it. It wasn't fair. 

None of it was fair. 

But I had a future to worry about now. 

As we cleared the planet I strapped myself into the copilot seat. I slowly looked over at Riddick. I hoped I'd given him enough time to himself. 

"Whoever we run into... Lot of questions," I said, "Could even be a merc ship. So, what the hell do we tell them about you?" Translation: what now? 

Riddick looked thoughtful. "Tell them Riddick's dead," he turned to me. "He died somewhere on that planet." 

It didn't matter if he was covering his ass or telling me that he had changed - those words made me a happy boy. Well, happy isn't quite the word. Contented, optimistic, happier than I had been. 

Than Riddick reached over and took my hand. We sat there, holding hands and watching the universe sail by. 


	5. And the Sky, Full of Stars

http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/disclaimers.html

DISCLAIMERS!!! YOU MUST READ THESE FIRST 

Title: Jack B. Badd Part Five: And The Sky, Full of Stars  
Author: Daryn  
Fandom: Pitch Black  
Pairing: Jack/Riddick (eventually)  
Rating: PG-13 for a few curse words  
Email: dmunster@hotmail.com  
Series/Sequel: This is part five in the saga of Jack  
Web Page: http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, but damn I wish I did.  
Warnings: Jack is a boy. Read 'Disclaimers' page for more info  
Notes: Jack's POV. This is the story of Jack's life with emphasis on his experiences on the planet in Pitch Black. There is no sex, yet. Eventually Jack and Riddick will get groovy though.  
Summary: Years later Jack narrates what happened to him and the other survivors immediately after their escape from the Planet.   


* * *

I've taken some time away from recounting my story. The intense experience of reliving that time (days? Who knows how long we were on that planet) had exhausted me. I resume now from our departure in the skiff. 

We traveled in silence. Imam prayed. Who knows what Riddick though about - I never asked. 

I suppose that during the hours it took for us to reach the Sol-Track Shipping Lanes I must have been rationalizing away everything that had happened so that I could move on. Kids can be amazingly resilient sometimes. 

At one point I almost started to speak, but I hated to break our silence. Instead I squeezed Riddick's hand. He looked at me. I didn't quite grin. You've probably had a moment when your face was so gloomy that you can change it to an almost-grin and then it looks like you've just grinned. Anyway, that's what I did. 

And that's what Riddick did, and rubbed his thumb along the back of my hand gently. 

"Almost there," he said. 

"I'm hungry," I burst out, just having realized it myself. Imam chuckled once. Riddick glanced back. "Yeah, me too," he put in. 

We finished the first leg of that journey in silence. 

The shipping lane came into view. If you've never been on the shipping lanes... well, I can't imagine anyone not having been on them so never mind. Riddick cruised the skiff along until we found a break-pod and we stopped there. 

Com-links were opened and our emergency sigs and lights were on. I wasn't worried about getting picked up or not. There was no reason to worry about that. A ship would come by and pick us up. 

I was worried, however, about who would pick us up. Sometimes pirates or slavers faked a breakdown in order to attack merchant ships. Sometimes pirates or slavers picked up breakdowns. Of course there was always the fact that Riddick was there and would probably protect us from anyone trying to hurt us... but then again, Riddick wasn't predictable. 

Then there was the problem of food - would whoever picked us up feed us? Would we be able to rest on their ship? 

Riddick unstrapped himself and laid down on the ship's floor. 

"How's your leg?" I asked, realizing that I'd forgotten his injury. 

"Stiff," he answered brusquely. "But it'll do for now," he added. 

"You should get some rest also," Imam told me. I didn't hesitate. I threw myself on the floor next to Riddick. I lay on my stomach, resting my head on my arms, looking at the back of the skiff. 

I closed my eyes, thinking that it would take me forever to fall asleep. 

I jumped. I had heard something. I had. I looked around frantically. I was sitting up, supported by my arms which were... on Riddick's stomach. 

"Oh," I said, sitting back, "Sorry." "Hmmm," Riddick grunted softly, but I saw him put his shiv back in his belt. Imam was dozing in his seat. 

I had been asleep for hours. I rubbed my eyes and decided that I probably wouldn't be able to sleep anymore. I flopped back down, scooted my back up against Riddick's side and closed my eyes. 

No dreams. I hadn't had a nightmare. You were lucky, I thought, too tired to dream this time, but there are probably plenty of nightmares in your future. 

Just then our signal got picked up. Imam ran over to pick it up while I helped Riddick get up. 

"So what's your story?" a woman's voice came over the com. 

"We need a jump ride, can't go much further in this thing," Riddick answered almost pleasantly. 

"How many folks in there?" she asked after a pause. 

"Three." 

Another pause. No doubt whoever it was and whatever their ultimate plans for us were, the decision to take us on was being made. 

"Ok," her voice came back, "Can you steer over to our dock?" 

"No problem." 

"Who are they?" I asked. 

"It's an old klunker," Riddick replied. "If it's pirates or slavers they can't be very good." 

"But..." I was beginning to panic a little bit. 

"I mean it's an old klunker that really is old, not a fancy one looking old for show." 

I almost asked how he knew this but decided that there were more important concerns. "What do we call you?" "Uncle Rick will probably work fine," he chuckled. I smiled. "Rick," Imam repeated, "And you?" Imam turned to me. "Jackie?" Riddick asked. 

"If I'm Jackie then you can be Uncle Dick," I said. 

Riddick laughed as he pulled into the larger ship's dock. "It's Jack," I went on, "And um... it'd be better if you guys treated me like a guy here, Ok?" Imam gave me a look. "Hey, it's a safety issue," I said, trying not to sound as desperate as I felt. 

"Good thought," Riddick put in as he shut the skiff down. "Go with it," he said to Imam, "it's _his_ decision really anyway." It took all my willpower to not smile like an idiot. 

"Then you should know my name also," Imam said, "Imam is my title, but my name is Abu-al-Walid. You may call me Imam if you wish but I want to make the distinction clear." 

"Cool," I said as the CLEAR sign went on. We could exit the skiff. 

The rear door opened. "You first," Riddick urged me ahead. Crap, I thought. I slowly walked down the platform and came to a stop at the bottom. 

I looked around. No one. "Hello?" I called out. Imam walked up behind me. A large door opened. 

A woman with steel-gray hair and eyes to match stood there holding a huge gun. I put up my hands. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Riddick join us. 

The woman approached us. She stood there in front of us while a group of about ten guys with guns ran onto the skiff. Her eyes skimmed over me, rested briefly on Riddick and then locked on Imam. He returned her gaze calmly. 

The gunmen returned. One whispered in the woman's ear. She handed him the large gun. She smiled at me and Riddick, ignoring Imam. "Come," she beckoned. 

I slowly lowered my hands. We trotted along after the woman. Riddick clapped me on the shoulder and grinned. Imam just kept staring ahead at the woman. I was wondering what he was thinking when we reached a large room with a table in the center and the woman turned to us. 

"What's your name?" she asked me. "Jack," I said. "And you?" she turned to Riddick. "Rick," he answered mildly. She nodded. 

I glanced at Imam and figured out what must be happening. We must have been picked up by a travel ship for some kind of religious sect that obviously didn't dig... whatever Imam was. I eventually learned that Imam was a Chrislam and that these folks, whose denomination I will not name here, had a bit of a prejudice against them. 

We were given food then: the woman handed me a tray of some kind of leftovers and I started eating as fast as I could. "Slow down," Riddick said as he pulled my hands away from the food while I chewed. I stopped swallowing the food whole after that. Riddick ate too but Imam just stared at the woman and she just stared back at him. 

I handed Imam part of a sandwich. He took it and slowly began to eat it. 

"Ok," said the woman, "Your story." She pointed at me. "Me?" I wiped my mouth and looked at Riddick. He shrugged. I stared at the food for a minute then I looked at a spot on the wall just over the woman's left shoulder. 

"We've been on the planet and there were these things and they were killing people so we got out," I said, stuttering a little for effect. I started to eat again. 

The woman stared at us for a while. "The two of you are related?" she asked, pointing to me and Riddick. I nodded. She looked expectantly at me. "He's my uncle," I said. 

She pushed a button on the table and a bunch of people filed in, staring at us. I assumed that it was the crew or the religious leaders. I kept eating while they talked to Riddick about where they were going, where they would drop us off, where we would stay and all that. 

They had a spare cabin where we could stay and a doctor who led Riddick off to check out his leg. A younger man came up to me. "Come on, I'll take you to your cabin," he said. 

I stood up and said "Come on" to Imam. I wasn't sure what they intended to do with him but he came with me. 

"There's a shower here," the man stopped and pointed, "Your cabin is right there. It's unlocked. You can program your palms on it." He paused and grinned at me, "After a shower maybe?" 

I looked down. My clothes reeked. I grinned back. "Yeah..." I said. "I'll come back to check on you then," he replied and left us. 

I looked to the showers. Single stalls with clothes cleaners in the main room. Hmmm.... I turned to Imam. "Why do they ignore you?" I asked. He looked a little angry but a bit sad also. 

"There are many faiths which have long opposed the joining of the Christian and Islamic faiths into Chrislam," he said, "And..." His voice trailed off and he sighed. "I'm just very tired, Jack," he shook his head, "So much death and destruction. You know those boys were very special to me... and they had a family who may never know what has happened to them." 

I patted his arm and wished I could do more to help him. "I'm sorry," I whispered, "It's only a few weeks... and... we'll be Ok..." He patted my head. "Now," he said, "I think we both are in need of a cleansing." 

He headed into a stall, not bothering to put his robes in the washer. I stripped to my shorts and undershirt. After making certain that there were no stains on my pants I threw it all in a washer and went into a stall. 

I washed myself and my underclothes there in the shower. I feel like I must have been in there for hours. The showers must not have been segregated cuz they kept tampons in the cabinets there. 

That was the best and worst shower of my life. I never needed a shower as badly as I needed one then and I've never needed one that badly since. It felt so good to wash away the dirt and blood of that planet. But I was also painfully aware that I was alive to enjoy that shower while many others were not. 

I dried my underthings on the hair dryer, put them on and pulled my toasty clothes from the washer. 

"Imam?" I said.   
"Yes?"   
"I'm going to the cabin. See you there?"   
"Yes." 

I felt vaguely that I ought to stick around and not leave Imam alone on this ship full of people who might hurt him, but no one was around when I walked out of the shower. I opened the cabin door. Number 310. 

It was a small room with two beds, a chair, and a table. Very sterile-feeling. I programmed my palm to the door. Now I was the only one who could open it. In theory. When the others got back I showed them how to put their palms on too. 

Riddick's leg looked much better but he didn't seem to want to talk about anything. He looked at us, put a finger to his lips, pointed to his ear and swiveled his head around. My assumption was that there were listening devices in the rooms. I don't know for certain if that was the case, but in any case, we never really talked while we were in that cabin for those two weeks. 

The young guy came back later (Riddick had time to shower) and took us to the ship's mess hall. It seemed to be their lunch break. While we ate, the woman who had first met us came over and sat down next to Imam, across from me. 

"My name is Dell," she said to me. "Hi," I grinned at her over my enormous plate of food. "We have a vid and game room, I can show you where it is when you're done." I nodded enthusiastically. 

Then Dell turned to Imam and said, "We also have a library. I can show you there when you're done." I was floored. I didn't think they'd ever even notice him. He nodded curtly and looked away. 

We continued to eat. Imam paused at one point and said quietly to me, "Jack, are you... all right?" He had caught me off-guard and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I looked down at the plate of food and felt like throwing it up. I pushed it away from me. 

"Jack. Jack." Imam patted my back. "It was not your fault. None of it. It was all in the hands of Allah. You must never blame yourself." I let the words wash over me. "Thank you." I managed to say. 

Riddick went with me to the vid and game room. It wasn't much, mostly mild games and puzzles, news vids and epics. Definitely looked like a religious group's rec room. 

Dell and Imam went to the library. I didn't know then, but those two weeks the two of them went to the library every day and had "long religious debates" Imam said. Riddick and I had a theory that they had known each other long ago and used to be in love but had parted ways and were now reunited. 

Creating the story of Imam and Dell was one of many games we played during that trip. We played the hell out of the few games there. After a while we got some of the crew to join in and soon we had a tournament going on one particular game. 

It was called Jungle Madness. I liked it because it was like the complete opposite of everything there on the planet -- jungles instead of deserts and all that. 

I came in third place in the tournament overall. Riddick came in fifth. He thought it was hysterically funny when I got really into the game but he never had to see his own face get really serious while he tried to beat the big fat jungle warthogs. 

After the tournament had ended we stopped going tot he game room. There hadn't been anything on the news vids about our ship. So we moved on to the workout room. Riddick taught me how to use the equipment. 

"Come on, you just have to... like that" was probably the sentence I heard more than anything that last week. Riddick was a one man show with all that stuff in that room -- more entertaining than any vid. 

We were three days from whatever our drop off point was. That night I sat on my bunk. Imam read a book in the chair and Riddick was changing the bandage on his leg. 

"What're we doing when we get there?" I asked, trying my damnedest to pretend like I hadn't been wanting to ask it for a week and a half. 

Riddick didn't look up. Imam did. "New Mecca," he said, but then he hesitated. "Most likely. For me," he added. 

"Well..." I started to say. I paused and rethought my words. "I don't know if I'd like New Mecca." I looked at Riddick. 

"Jack," he said. I think it was the first time he'd ever said my name. "Be a good boy and let me figure it out." He smiled at me like I'd been an obnoxious kid. He stood up and put his hands on his hips. 

I mockingly narrowed my eyes. Then I reached for my pillow as fast as I could and hurled it at him. Like lightening he had grabbed the pillow and suddenly I was squealing and fending Riddick off as he tickled me to within an inch of my life. 

"ACK!" I yelped and tried to jump to the other bed but he caught me over his shoulder and started to turn in circles. I laughed so hard I think I was in hysterics. I could hear Imam laughing too and that made me really happy cuz I couldn't even remember the last time he had really smiled. 

Finally Riddick flipped me onto my back on my bunk. He sat dizzily on the other bed, still grinning. 

"Ok," I gasped, "Ok, Uncle Rick. You figure it out. Have your people call my people." 

He pulled off his goggles and winked at me. "You better go through puberty soon or the next time you scream like that I'm gunna go deaf." I stuck my tongue out at him. 

Imam said, "Enough excitement for tonight?" "Whew, yeah," I conceded. 'Uncle Rick' came over to the bed and tucked me in. Before taking the chair (we were rotating bed and chair sleeping situations) he bent down and whispered in my ear, "Seriously, we'll talk when we're off this thing." 

"Night," I said. I didn't fall asleep for hours. 

They unloaded the skiff onto a minidock at the port. We wouldn't be able to move it until we paid the small docking fee. Or, in thirty days the dock would be awarded possession. 

I stretched my arms out and took a look around. Signs and ad screens were everywhere. I turned to see Riddick talking to Imam. Dell was supervising some of the crew who were unloading two trunks. 

Imam put a hand on my shoulder. "Hey," I said, not sure if this was our farewell or what. 

"I am going with Dell." 

I tried to wrap my brain around that one. I had been expecting him to tell me that he was going to New Mecca and that I should go with him or that I shouldn't stay with Riddick or something. 

"What? You converted?"  
"No," he laughed.   
"Then... she did?"  
"We have reached an understanding and wish to attempt to live together..." 

He looked over at Dell. She smiled at me. "Wow," I smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. "Well, best of luck to you, dude." I gave him a hug and held him close. "I won't forget you." "And I shall remember you." He patted my face and then turned to take a few steps toward where Dell waited. 

He paused and turned back. "Jack. Be careful, child," he said to me softly. Then he called out "Thank you" as he waved to Riddick. Riddick waved back. "Bye!" I yelled after him. I watched them walk away. 

I was beginning to panic a little. I was losing Imam now too. True, he was still alive and was apparently looking forward to some kind of happy future, but still... What if Riddick left me somewhere? Or sold me to slavers? 

Fuck it, I thought, I have to trust someone and he's all I have right now. 

Riddick was standing behind me. "Ok," I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt. I felt like crying. I turned around. Riddick was looking after Imam. I think. Then he slowly turned his head to look at me. 

"Let's go find us a buyer for this thing," he pointed toward the skiff. I skipped after him. He found a callbox and made a few calls, then we settled down to wait for his buyer. 

"What'll we do after we sell the skiff?" I asked, kicking my feet along the floor. "We'll skip town," Riddick said from where he leaned on the wall. 

That was the smartest thing to do, I knew that. If we were being tracked, and that was possible, we'd have to disappear. Well, Riddick would have to disappear. My gut was adding "and me" every time I thought "Riddick" though. 

"So," Riddick said thoughtfully, looking at me, "Maybe we should have us a little girl talk." 

Crap. Not that again. Every time I tried to talk about it I felt like I sounded silly. 

I looked away at an ad screen. "No little girl to talk about." 

"So you're telling me that you're not a girl."  
"Not... really."  
"So you were just pretending really hard to be bleeding back there."  
"No."  
"So. What?"  
"Well, I've just... always... I was a boy then they told me I wasn't but I still thought of myself as..." 

I gulped and searched for words. "I tried to be a girl, Ok? I tried. And I know it sounds like I'm... like I just want to _be_ a boy cuz it's easier but that's not it." 

"So what is it?" He didn't sound hostile or anything. He just sounded curious and interested. I was feeling a bit more comfortable about it now. 

"It's just me. It's who I am." 

He was still looking at me intently. I was startled to suddenly notice that I was the center of Riddick's attention. Me. Whoever or whatever I may or may not be, he was standing there talking to me, interested in who I was. And maybe this meant that I would be able to stay with him. Would it last? I didn't know. 

"You know, you can be a girl and go out with girls."  
"Huh?" 

Oh yeah. I had forgotten the conversation with my school principal. It felt like a thousand years ago. Ten lifetimes ago. 

"Oh wait, I see. No, it's not like that."  
"You don't like girls?"  
"Well, I don't know. Not especially."  
"Then you like... other... boys?" 

I bit my lip coyly and rolled my eyes. He threw up his hands, "Heavens! Lordy me. I got me a girl... fag... boy... thing over here!" He smiled. I did too. 

The buyer showed up. We ended up with a couple thousand credits. That was good since I couldn't touch my old account. It had probably expired anyway. 

As we left the money machine with our fortune Riddick asked "So you're really serious about the boy thing?" "Hell yes," I answered happily. 

He looked thoughtful again. I think Riddick had only a few different discernible expressions and those were only noticeable to someone who watched him really really closely for a long time. 

"I might know someone..." his voice trailed off. I nodded, not sure what to say. So I followed him to another dock. He had me stand on a bench while he made arrangements to get us on a ship. I didn't take my eyes off of him for a second. No point in getting left behind because I was too careless. 

He beckoned to me. I hopped down and ran over. 

We passed a rather uneventful voyage to the Earth Four system in the belly of a large cargo ship. We talked a lot and bounced around the compartments. 

Sometimes Riddick would answer my questions. Sometimes he would talk, sometimes he would run around with me and goof off. Other times we would sit in mutual silence. 

"Hey."  
"Yeah?"  
"Maybe I could call you Rid in public instead of Rick."  
"Hm."  
"Do you mind me talking?"  
"No."  
"Well if you do, just say so."  
"....."  
"You know I'm really glad we're sticking together. I don't have any family or nothing."  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. I had a mother but they put me in a carehome when I was like five. I had a really cool brother there. His name was Peter. But then I got sent off to a school." 

I paused. 

"Me and Peter used to play soldiers..." Riddick snorted. "Played soldiers," he growled. I just watched him. "I played soldier once," he continued, "Wouldn't do it again." I tried to imagine Riddick as a soldier. I figured he must have been in the Wailing Wars. No wonder he didn't think too much of playing soldier. I hated the Wailing War vids. 

"What school did you get sent to?"  
"This girls school." I shrugged.  
"Not a charm school?"  
"I don't think I'd have stuck it out so long if it had been a charm school. I'm not very charming."  
"So you were just running away."  
"Yeah... like you."  
"But I got caught."  
"But you got away."  
"....."  
"I had this idea that if I could just get... away... from the school... that... Cuz I thought... Well. It doesn't matter cuz you can see where I've ended up." I smiled. 

Riddick chuckled. "I thought that if I got away from school..." I waited for him to finish. When he didn't I asked, "You got sent to a school?" "Probably something like what you were in at the girls school. Only I was 'crazy' with these 'sane' people... around me all the time..." 

Then we arrived. 


	6. Taking My Time But I Don't Know Where

http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/disclaimers.html  
YOU MUST READ THESE DISCLAIMERS FIRST 

Title: Jack B. Badd Part Six: Taking My Time But I Don't Know Where  
Author: Daryn  
Fandom: Pitch Black  
Pairing: Jack/Riddick (eventually)  
Rating: PG-13 for a few curse words  
Email: dmunster@hotmail.com  
Series/Sequel: This is part six in the saga of Jack  
Web Page: http://ddraven.tripod.com/pitchblack/  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, but damn I wish I did.  
Warnings: Jack is a boy. Read 'Disclaimers' page for more info  
Notes: Jack's POV. This is the story of Jack's life with emphasis on his experiences on the planet in Pitch Black. There is no sex, yet. Eventually Jack and Riddick will get groovy though.  
Summary: Years later Jack narrates the next leg of his and Riddick's travels and adventures after escaping the planet. 

* * *

When we arrived at the port on Earth Four Alpha, the first thing we did was buy new clothes. 

That was so great, I can't even think about shopping for new clothes now without getting happy on memories of that time. 

We headed straight to the men's section. Riddick stood by and let me pick out new pants, shirts, socks, and undershorts. I chose black pants and a long-sleeved black shirt to go under a dark blue polo shirt. I also got these really great black boots. 

Then it was time to get Riddick's clothes. I noticed then how he had been watching me shop. Apparently he hadn't done this kind of thing very much, if at all. I doubt even now if he had ever legally purchased an article of clothing before that day. 

He wasn't very inventive in his choices either -- all grays. 

We were about to check out when I realized something. "Aren't you getting any new underwear?" Riddick cocked his head at me slightly then looked away, saying "What?" 

I wasn't sure if he was embarrassed or what and I had no idea how to respond. I floundered. "You going commando?" He smiled at the floor and shook his head. 

"Oh come on!" 

I grabbed his hand and dragged him back to the underwear section and grabbed some stuff in what I guessed was his size. He just took it and headed back toward check-out. I trotted after him feeling a bit lightheaded. 

Before checking out, though, we picked up some packs so we could put our old clothes somewhere. 

As we stepped outside into the pale sunshine I panicked a bit. "Come on," Riddick paused and waited for me. 

There were so many questions that I wanted to ask but I was too frightened of the answers I might (or might not) get if I asked them. That sometimes seems like the story of my life -- memories of questions left unasked or unanswered. 

We arrived at a transit station and took the tube to a city pretty far out from the main docking city. Riddick was completely silent during the trip. So I kept my own silence and daydreamed about what we might do there, people we might meet, places we might go... 

When we arrived at the small city though, I had to ask: "Where are we going?" Riddick stopped. "It's too easy to find tourists in those port cities, it's not safe. Besides," he smiled, "I have connections here." 

I felt a lot better after that. We checked into a hotel a few blocks away. 

I ran into the room, threw my pack on the floor and fell onto the bed. "Ok," Riddick said, surveying the room. I rolled over and watched as he put his pack down. 

"You kick it here, take a nap or whatever. I'll be back later." 

And he was out the door and gone before I could even react. 

I got up slowly and walked toward the door. I felt like I was trapped in slow motion. I opened the door and looked out. I didn't see Riddick or anything to indicate where he had gone. I looked around the room and tried to assess my situation. 

How long should I wait to see if Riddick came back? What should I do if he didn't come back? I sat down and thought. I figured that if he didn't come back, I would be in a situation very similar to what I would have been in had the ship never crashed. 

I would have been all alone, somewhere in the universe. 

I noted that Riddick had left his bag. But I refused to let myself assume that this meant anything. I came within inches of crying right then and there, but I caught myself and stopped. 

A few minutes later though, I was crying my eyes out. I wrapped myself in the blanket and curled up in a corner of the room and just let myself cry. 

I cried for Mother, for Peter, for everyone I had known in my other lives before getting on that ship. 

I cried for everyone on the ship, for the other children, Shazza, Zeke, Paris, Fry, and even Johns. I cried for Imam, lost to me now like so many others that I had loved. I cried for Riddick. 

And I cried for myself. Myself all alone, possibly forever, possibly dead tomorrow. I cried for the mess that my life seemed to be. 

Eventually, as the tears slowed down and the sobs were fewer and further between I began to wonder why I hadn't cried before. I knew then that I hadn't been alone, so alone, long enough to cry it out in all the time since that one event had changed my world forever. 

Finally I ran out of tears but I still sat in the corner and let the feelings of sadness, anger, despair, and all the rest of it course through me. 

At last I got up, put the blanket back on the bed, washed my face, blew my nose and got ready to go out. I left a note on the bed, just in case Riddick came back: 'Got hungry. Getting food. Back later. - Jack' 

I took my key and my emptied pack and set out. I had a few notes that I figured might buy some food if I couldn't find anything that I could easily steal. Hunger won over frugality though and I bought food, using all of my money except a small portion I set aside in case I'd need to take the tube back to the big port city. 

The sun was setting as I got back to the room. I stopped to watch it, munching on some fiber bars I had gotten. I had a brief moment of fear as I recalled the last sunset that I had watched. But this sunset was safe. Nothing more dangerous than human was likely to jump out of the shadows here. 

But that was enough and I went inside. Riddick wasn't back. I threw the note away, ate some food, and turned on the vid screen. 

I must have fallen asleep. I woke up a few hours later to find myself tucked under the blankets, my shoes off, and I could hear the shower running. I smiled to myself and happily rolled over and fell back asleep. 

When I woke up the next morning though there was no sign of Riddick. I was getting worried that I had dreamed hearing him in the shower when I saw my note from the night before sitting on the floor by the door, only with the 'Jack' crossed off and 'Rid' written crudely next to it. 

I put the note in my pack and took a shower. 

I wiped the steam from the mirror and looked at myself. I needed a haircut. I looked at my face. 

Hey Jack, what're you doing?   
No idea.   
Typical. Pretty soon nobody is going to think you're a boy.   
Shut up.   
Well it's true.   
I know.   
So what're you going to do?   
I don't know.   
Typical. 

I turned away and got dressed. I stepped out of the shower room. 

Riddick tossed me a piece of fruit. I smiled. "Good morning!" 

My smile flickered and died as I noticed the stern look on Riddick's face. 

"Gotta talk." 

I sat down on the edge of the bed. Riddick stood by the door, sipping a hot drink. He sighed. 

"I was going to leave you on that planet. I was about to leave." I nodded, it made sense. I hadn't thought he was coming back. Hadn't it been the shock (and relief) of my life when he had come through? He continued, "I wasn't going to leave anytime since then though." My spirits lifted. But... why have this serious talk? 

He put his cup down and leaned back against the door. "We came here," he continued, "cuz I know someone here. I don't know how helpful they might be. But I think they can help. They've helped already in fact." 

"Help how? Me? You?" I broke off my string of questions. 

Riddick pushed off the wall and stood in front of me. 

"Jack, I don't know what to do. You're some kid with a gender problem. I'm a sociopath killer who saved your life. I'm not used to feeling responsible for other people. I don't know what to do. Get married? Get a job? Home in the 'burbs?" 

He chuckled, but there was no humor in it. "All I know to do is use this connection here. They're getting me a ship and a license and I'm going to start some kind of smuggling or merc work. And I'm not trying to kid you: I do kill people. I hurt people. I probably hurt you. For all I know I'll hurt you and I'll like it." 

I kept expecting him to start pacing around the room. But he just stood there, talking slowly and thoughtfully. 

"What do I know about taking care of a kid? I can't be your father. I wouldn't even dream of trying." He paused and I took the risk: "I don't want or need a father, Riddick. I want a friend. I need a friend." 

He looked at me and after a minute he nodded. "Carolyn..." he said, "Fry died out there. She asked me, before she died, when she wouldn't let me leave you behind -- she asked if there was any part of me that wanted to rejoin the human race." 

He sat down on the bed next to me. "I told her I wouldn't know how. And really Jack, I'm just making it up as I go along. But I want to be your friend. I might even want you to be my friend." He laughed. "Me... with a friend..." he mused, "But if I'm fucking up you have to tell me. And don't assume that I always know what to do." He patted my shoulder roughly. 

I took his hand in mine and smiled. "I think you're doing fine. And most people are probably just making it up as they go along too." Riddick nodded. 

"Riddick?" I hesitated. He cocked his head toward me. "Can I hug you?" I grinned. He looked away, embarrassed I guess but I hugged him anyway. 

It was so good to have another person there with me. I hadn't been old enough to make this kind of pact with Mother or Peter. 

Somewhere deep down my gut was warning me that no matter what, someday Riddick and I would no longer be together. I put this out of my mind though and chose to focus on the positive aspect of our new life together. 

"So what are we going to do today?" I asked. "Do I get to meet your friend?" Riddick smirked, "Not a friend. A somewhat friendly... acquaintance." He paused, "Well, maybe an old friend." 

"Do I get to meet them?" "Of course, but they won't be up and about for a few hours at least." He got up and started to put his shoes on. "So let's go look at our new ship." 

I tried to ask questions about this ship and why on earth it was here in this city during our whole walk across town. But Riddick just smiled and changed the subject every time I asked. 

When we finally reached our destination I was a bit disappointed. "It's just a junk shop," I said, grimacing. "Yep," Riddick replied, "Just a junk shop with a really cool mural painted on the wall." I ran around to the side of the building. 

He was right -- someone had painted a breathtaking mural of ships flying through space. There were about fifteen different ships. "Which one?" I asked, bubbling with excitement. "That one," he pointed calmly. 

I didn't know the make or model but it thrilled me to see the ship that Riddick had apparently obtained for us. 

"So where is it really?"   
"Back where we came from."   
"Right. When are we leaving?"   
"Not yet. Thought you wanted to meet my friend." 

And I did meet his friend. The owner of the modest night club. Owner and nightclub were known as The Divine Miss M. 

The doorkeeper ushered us in to see Miss M as soon as we approached the club, no questions asked. We were shown into the dimly lit living room upstairs. 

Whatever I had been expecting, the shining lights that approached us through the gloom came as a shock. Another person with a shine job. If I thought the eyes were startling, that was nothing to the person herself. Miss M. 

Thousands of questions flooded my mind. She clasped Riddick's hands. Then she spoke, looking at me: "So this is the boy..." she chuckled and I knew then. 

Miss M was Miss M in the same way that I was Mr J. 

But... how? Why? What now? She took my arm and led me into another room. I glanced back to see Riddick grin at me. 

Miss M closed the door and sat down on an armchair. "Please, sit," she said, pointing to a couch. I sat down nervously and looked around. 

She shook her head and smiled. "I have only a vague idea of how you and our mutual friend got together. But I don't need to know, honey." She waved her hand at me. She must've had a ring on ever finger. Her hands sparkled. 

"You see," she paused, "We were inside together. You know of course," she pointed to her own eye, "in the Slam. And I had no small part in our escape too." She grinned and winked at me, "But you'll have to ask him for the whole story because tonight I have a different mission." 

She rose and stood staring at me. I squirmed. "I can see why he brought you to me. Poor thing didn't know what else to do of course. Lucky for him I'm thoroughly prepared and, yes, even delighted to help you. You'll be wanting hormones. And advice too of course." 

I started and my eyes must have bulged out ten feet. She laughed. "Oh, you'd be surprised how much you can do, and you're so young..." Her voice trailed off. 

I learned so much that night. Or at least, that's how it felt at the time. I was introduced to a world of infinite possibility -- one in which I could become a boy. Really a boy. Miss M had a doctor friend who wrote me a universal prescription (a card that would work at any pharmacy stand but would actually register as a regular prescription card every time it was used so that it couldn't be traced) for androgen pills**. They told me that if I started taking these regularly, my breasts probably wouldn't grow anymore. There was so much more though. I mean, hormones aside there was everyday 'passing', not to mention surgery. I told them I wouldn't consider surgery for many more years and they said it was a good idea. But there was so much they told me and showed me -- suggestions on how to talk, how to walk, how to hold my head and my hands, how to stand, how to sit, and so much more. 

Much of that I found didn't really matter as men and women don't regularly behave much differently from one another -- at least not in everyday posture. 

There were also instruments that could be used for peeing standing up. They sent me away with one of these, lots of advice on using restrooms, and my prescription card. 

I soaked up their words like a dry sponge. My head was reeling when I was finally released to Riddick's side in the main room. I clutched my new things to my chest. 

I said my sleepy goodbyes and thank you's. I leaned heavily on Riddick on the walk home. 

We walked in silence. We prepared for bed in silence. We slept and awoke in silence. 

My dreams were filled with grand visions of myself running through the streets of every city I had ever seen -- a happy boy. 

I silently packed my bag and ate the apple Riddick handed me. We walked silently to the transit station. While we waited for our tube I timidly approached the pharmacy stand. 

I stood there for a full five minutes before I summoned the courage to step up, insert my card and wait while my prescription was filled. That was the beginning of my doubt. I mean, of seriously questioning myself. 

What am I doing, I asked myself. How do I know that I want this? How do I know anything? 

I clutched my prescription tightly as Riddick and I stepped into the tube. As soon as we sat down I shoved the pills to the bottom of my bag. 

"Not even gunna look at them?" Riddick asked. I looked up. His goggles stared into my eyes like drills. 

"What if..." I cleared my throat. "What if it's a mistake? What if I'm making a mistake?" Riddick raised an eyebrow. 

Our tickets were punched and we passed the rest of the trip in silence. I don't remember much between that point and actually getting the ship and taking off. 

It was a good ship and Riddick drove it very well. I had my own little cabin, right next Riddick's. There were two other cabins. Though the ship only really required one person to operate it, it was set up for a crew of four. Lots of cargo space too. 

I took a look around, then went to my cabin and laid down. I dozed off. And I dreamed. 

In my dream, my caremother was there. I smiled and greeted her, but she screamed in anger and turned away. Then I saw Fry and I ran to her but she screamed in anger too and turned away. Then they both turned back to me, but they had changed. 

They were alien monsters. 

They were screaming. 

"You killed my daughter! You killed her!" yelled the monster that had been my caremother. 

"You lied to me! You dirty liar!" screeched the monster that had been Fry. 

They were closing in on me and I screamed and ran in blind terror. 

I woke up in Riddick's arms, crying. I forced my breathing to slow down. "Ok now?" he whispered. "Yeah," I gasped. 

He helped me to my feet. I splashed some water on my face and joined him at the ship controls. I wanted to take my mind off my nightmare, so I asked "How did you meet Miss M?" 

Riddick visibly relaxed the slightest bit. "Morgan Murphy," he said simply, "Fellow inmate. Didn't know her -- when she was him -- on the inside too much. She was someone else's." I almost asked what of someone else's she was, but I stopped myself. 

"We were on the same transport for a transfer. Well. The guards got really interested in her. So interested that I was able to swing myself loose and dispatch the opposition." 

And you didn't kill her, I thought. Maybe you're more human than you think. 

"How did you know she'd be on Earth Four Alpha?" "We split up and she told me where to find her if I needed something when things cooled down. It's been a while but I'd say that things have cooled. And I needed something." I smiled. 

Silence reigned, as it usually did, for a while after that. I brought out some food so we could eat and watch the stars go by. As we ate I thought I'd voice some of the thoughts that had been haunting my thoughts... and my dreams. 

"Riddick?"   
"Yeah."   
"Do you think... if I take those pills, am I killing myself? I mean... killing who I am and becoming someone else? And what if I don't like who I become? Or what if I decide not to take the pills and then wish I had? what if I'm really an ugly boy and no one ever loves me? What if..." 

I paused to breathe. "What if ten years from now I look at myself and hate myself?" 

I looked at Riddick. He didn't wear his goggles on the ship. He looked somewhere between bemused and thoughtful. 

"And to think," he said after a minute, "Some people go through this without the benefit of pills." He took our dishes away. 

I thought about this while he was gone. Yes, I thought, it could be anything I'm worrying about... everyone can legitimately ask the question 'Will I hate myself ten years from now' and certainly everyone doesn't make this decision. Everyone has their own problems. 

When Riddick returned he stood next to me, looking at the stars. "I don't think you're killing who you are or were. You're just changing. Everyone does it. And from what I've seen and you've told me... I don't think you'll change your mind. If that's any help." 

I looked up at him. "What if I'm not happy?" He looked down at me. "What if you are?" I sat back and nodded. He turned. "Now I'm going to sleep. Do whatever but you are getting up in eight hours." "Ok," I nodded. 

He started toward the cabins. "Riddick," I called after him. "Hmm?" he turned. "Thank you." He winked and walked away. I watched him walk away and then turned back to watch the stars sail by. 

I sat there for an hour, thinking about a thousand things. 

Who am I? Where am I going? Where does Riddick fit in and for how long? What will happen if I take the pills? What if I don't? I pulled the pills out of my pocket. I stared at them, turned them over in my hands a thousand times. 

How old am I, I wondered. I didn't know. I had lost track of time. How old was I when I boarded the Hunter Gratzner? I knew time before then. Or did I? Did I really know how old I was when they picked me up off the streets? Fourteen, I decided. I'll be fourteen. 

And I will take the pills, I decided, one every seven days. That was my decision -- reached with tears in my eyes and questions in my heart. 

I can always stop, I told myself. And at least for the time I was safe with Riddick. 

I was safe with a killer. A killer who carried his humanity like a subtle virus that both haunted and delighted him. Thrilled him and pained him. 

And I was going to be a boy. And the world would know. 

** ** Author's Note: as of 2003 there exists NO pill or oral form of testosterone. It only comes in gels, patches and intramuscular injection serum.**


	7. Pieces of Me Left Along the Way

  
DISCLAIMERS!!! YOU MUST READ THESE FIRST 

Title: Jack B. Badd Part Seven: Pieces of Me Left Along the Way  
Author: Daryn  
Fandom: Pitch Black  
Pairing: Jack/Riddick (eventually)  
Rating: PG-13 for a few curse words  
Email: daryn@jackisaboy.zzn.com  
Series/Sequel: This is part seven in the saga of Jack  
Web Page:   
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, but damn I wish I did.  
Warnings: Jack is a boy. Read 'Disclaimers' page for more info  
Notes: Jack's POV. This is the story of Jack's life with emphasis on his experiences on the planet in Pitch Black. There is no sex, yet. Eventually Jack and Riddick will get groovy though.  
Summary: Years later Jack narrates, in summary, the next full year of his time spent with Riddick.  


"My new towel. I got a new towel today. It smells like cookie dough. I use it to wipe away the water – the water that can never really wash away the dirt in my soul, only the dirt on my body. The towel is green and…" 

"Stop! No more! I can't take it!" 

I grinned over the top of the poetry reader as Riddick writhed in his seat. We were on a transport heading toward the tropical vacation planet where we were set to stay for a week in celebration of our mutual 'birthday' – the one-year anniversary of our departure from Earth Four Alpha. 

Riddick froze in a stance of deadpan severity. "You know I can't take this modern poetry. If you'd wanted someone who was…" 

I darted forward, covered his mouth and dramatically shouted "No! Don't speak sir Richard! For the king shall surely see us and throw his… dirty green towel down to devour us!" 

We were in an unusually cheerful mood just then. The year that had followed my night of torment and decision had been filled with danger, tears, fears, and every other emotion I can think of. 

I had been going through a sort of puberty and a half. I hadn't quite finished my first puberty when I threw my body headfirst into a second and drastically different one. 

On top of the physical changes I was going through, as well as the ensuing emotional ones, was the challenge of living with Riddick and our dangerous work. 

It's not even important where we ended up on our first journey. What matters is that, thanks to Miss M, Riddick was able to get some small jobs on the fringes of what I suppose can only be called 'the underworld.' 

Of course that all sounds very melodramatic and more like the fantasies of an impressionable youth than reality. But let's remember who's writing this, shall we? 

Our first gigs were small smuggling jobs. Thanks to Riddick we got a good reputation and bigger, better jobs found their way to us. I say 'us' but it was really all Riddick. Pretty much. 

I had certainly lost my taste for witnessing death and so he went alone on all hits. I couldn't even watch the violent vids for the first six months or so. I remember shortly after our first gig I had sat down to watch an old horror vid and just ended up traumatized. I walked around with my jaw on the floor for the rest of that evening. I had to ease my way back into my old detachment from the vids. 

I did go along on a few hits, whenever Riddick needed another person along for whatever reason. I've blocked those times from my mind pretty efficiently though I occasionally come close to remembering them – vague impressions of pleas and blood. 

I was actually glad when our jobs were hits or just to go and scare people. I think those served as good outlets for Riddick and whatever he needed to work out. 

I got so I could tell when it had been too long since the last hit. He would get really quiet and he talked differently. He would put on his goggles more. 

I never brought it up during these times but one time I asked him if he ever felt like killing me. He made a joke like "Only when you leave the seat down" but then I told him to answer me seriously. He just gazed into my eyes. And I mean just that – no words, just a neutral gaze. 

I don't' know what they answer was, but… I'm still alive. 

But for the most part we just smuggled contraband from place to place. We took all kinds of different drugs to various places. Riddick never let me touch the stuff and as far as I know he never touched any of it either. 

Of course it was more than not messing up the amounts in transit. When I suggested we have a little party one time, he said "Someday you can do as much of this stuff as you want. But if you do it now, with so much here, you're liable to get addicted." 

We took booze to the planets that had implemented Prohibition policies. We transported merchandise. There were planets that had little or no organic food and had to pay insanely high prices for fruits and vegetables. We helped them out by offering the same goods at half the price (still twice their worth). 

The only thing Riddick would absolutely not participate in was the slave trade. Any time a deal smacked of slavers or a client came across as overtly pro-slaver, Riddick would walk away. 

There was one job we were on where we walked out and it almost got us killed. 

I had gone with Riddick to negotiate the terms of sale for some supplies or other. While Riddick was talking terms, a group of creepy space monkeys (mechanics) cornered me and I hate to think what might have happened it I hadn't managed to shout 'Hey' before they covered my moth. 

Riddick got us out of there safely, armed only with a pair of shivs. 

After that incident, I stayed on the ship while he arranged work until his reputation was better established. Then it was cool for me to go with him again. As a celebratory gift, I got a pair of shivs of my own, followed by about a week of shiv training. 

We both kept our hair extremely short. Riddick shaved his head about once a week and I kept mine to a short buzz though for a few months I tried out a crew cut. In any case, no one ever questioned my right to be in on his deals. They probably figured that if I wasn't his kid I was definitely the heir apparent. 

It took three months for the pills to really start their work in earnest. The first thing to happen was a crazy surge in body hair growth. 

My voice didn't drop until month five. It was all squeaky for a while and I tried to talk as much as I could because every time my voice cracked, Riddick would start laughing and I loved it when he did that. 

At about the eighth month I started to get some patchy, rough facial hair. I had been occasionally shaving off my face fuzz (all girls get it really) before then but I remember the morning that I walked into the bathroom and announced that I was ready to really shave. Riddick laughed right out loud right there. 

Of course the way it goes with facial hair, I couldn't even grow a convincing fringe of beard for at least two or three years after that. 

What I haven't mentioned yet is that my face broke out after only the first month. So all these wonders were matched on the downside with acne. I had thought that nothing would be harder for me to handle than being a girl when I knew that I was a boy, but being a boy with horrific acne wasn't exactly fun. 

And that's not even mentioning the weight gain. Well, it wasn't really very much and I had been pretty scrawny to begin with. Besides, it was mostly just muscles bulking up. But of course the haze of adolescence clouded my eyes and all I saw in the mirror was a huge, fat, pimpled blob. 

I spent a lot time that first year locked away in my cabin. Riddick insisted that I enroll in telecourses to get my school certificate. There was no discussion on this point. Once he had secured contacts that could set him up with official papers for me, he sat me down at the terminal and said, "You're doing school or you're getting out at the next stop." 

I tried to talk to him about school once or twice but he basically gave me a sarcastic reply to the effect of it being his obligation to give me opportunities that he didn't have. 

There were good things about the telecourses. I got subscribed to lists for kids who traveled with their families and had to do their courses on the nets. 

It was nice to get to know some of them – other kids who had some small idea of what my life was like. Of course I made up my own story differently every time. 

I was enrolled in the courses as John ('Jack') Bryson Cassidy. I had wanted to register as Jack B. Badd again but when I told Riddick that it was the name I used for the Hunter Gratzner flight, he shot it down. 

It's not that we were paranoid of being found or hunted. The general agreement in the news vids was that Riddick had died on the Planet too. They had a lot of research going on there. I occasionally looked around for news stories but I never brought it up with Riddick. 

I didn't want to forget the people I had met there, but I really wanted to forget what had happened to them. I preferred to imagine them off living their own lives in another system, like Imam or Peter. 

I even began to half-consciously scan the streets sometimes when we'd land just to see if I could glimpse a face that I could convince myself was Shazza, or Paris. 

Anyway, Riddick and I mostly kept to ourselves that first year. Living with another person makes for a strange, dynamic environment. I could never figure Riddick out and I don't know what on earth he thought of me at this point. 

We sometimes watched vids together. We had our little fights of course but they were ultimately friendly in nature (like 'your feet smell, go put on your shoes'). 

I think a key to our getting along as well as we did was that I was with Riddick of my own free will and he let me stick around either because he wanted me there or didn't really mind. 

So after a year my body had almost stabilized. At least, the changed had stopped being abrupt and fast and begun to level out. My acne had subsided for the most part and I felt a bit better about myself. 

Riddick and I decided to designate the anniversary our departure from Earth Alpha Four as our mutual birthday. I had decided to start out as fourteen and Riddick had decided to not tell me the age he had decided on. 

So on our fifteenth and unknown birthday (respectively), Riddick surprised me with the tropical vacation. 

"If you don't like modern poetry so much you shouldn't make me take the modern poetry class," I said amiably as I fell back into my seat on the transport. 

"You're only taking that class so you can torture me with that stuff," Riddick shot back, smiling. 

"You know it, baby," I winked at him and pretended to be absorbed in the reader. 

After about a minute of that I put down the reader, checked my watch irritably, rolled my eyes and playfully kicked Riddick's shoe. 

"If you ask if we're there yet you'll get a beating," Riddick cautioned me. 

"What's the first thing you want to do when we get there?" I asked, pretending I hadn't heard him. 

Riddick shrugged and pulled down his goggles. "Hit the beach I guess." 

I sat up, excited. "Have you ever been to a beach before?" 

Riddick looked away and answered "Not a fun one." 

I nodded. Riddick got like that when making references to his experience in the Wailing Wars on Tangier Six. We tended to avoid jobs in the Tangier system. 

"I've never been to a real beach before," I chattered, to distract him if he was thinking about bad things. "But my caremother a long time ago – she came from an ocean planet I think and she liked to watch vids of beaches and stuff. I've always wanted to go to a real beach though. I'm so excited!" I bounced a little on the seat. 

Riddick looked at me and asked, "Are you thinking about growing your hair out?" 

I raised an eyebrow. "How DOES your mind work, Richard" I said, shaking my head, "Umm… I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it I guess." 

Well that was a lie, I had obviously thought a lot about my hair and how I wanted to wear it. My general plan at that point had been to keep shaving it until I had decided what to do. 

"What color is your hair?" He asked in a bland tone that I'm pretty sure he always used when asking about colors (something he didn't tend to do much since I picked up on that tone and tried to mention colors of things as much as I could, to spare him having to ask). 

"Oh, gosh, it's light brown. Pretty light really, a bit reddish in the sun. At least it always was before. I could grow it out I think. At least a bit." 

He had caught me off guard there but I felt flattered that he had cared enough, for whatever reason, to ask about my hair. 

For about the thousandth time on that trip I wished that there were a window of some kind in our part of the transport. 

I picked up my poetry reader and flipped through a few pages. I stopped on the poem that I actually liked. It was called 'Emblem' and was about symbolism. At the time and even now I'm embarrassed to say that I liked it. Modern poetry at the time was really embarrassingly bad. 

"You're doing pretty good in school then?" Riddick asked. I looked up. He never asked about school. A small back section of my brain began to churn. This wasn't normal. Was he going to leave me on the planet? 

I didn't think he would, but I knew better than count on anything when it came to Riddick. He could be reliable 99% of the time and then hit you with a 1% that would kill someone who wasn't prepared. 

Thankfully, at least to that point, I had always been prepared, as with the time when I didn't know where he went when we stopped on Earth Four Alpha. 

I was used to people coming in and out of my life and I was certainly used to coming in and out of other people's lives. 

But maybe he was only asking because he realized that he hadn't really asked before. I shrugged. 

"Yeah, I get pretty good marks. I like most of the stuff I have to do. I'm not super into this poetry thing but I guess it's not that bad." 

Riddick seemed like he was about to say something more, but just then the landing lights began to blink and we had to strap in for what I remember as the smoothest landing ever. 

As I stepped through the door, from the darkness of the transport to the unreal yellow, green and blue brilliance of the tropical paradise, I shivered. The bright sun reminded me of another planet. 

I felt like I was stepping off the edge of a cliff and that I would fall headfirst into… into what? I had no idea. 

But the smell of the ocean… the smell of the ocean made me feel like maybe whatever I was heading into wouldn't be as bad as I feared. 


	8. Castles Built in the Air

  
DISCLAIMERS: YOU MUST READ THESE FIRST 

Title: Jack B. Badd Part Eight: Castles Built in the Air  
Author: Daryn  
Fandom: Pitch Black  
Pairing: Jack/Riddick (eventually)  
Rating: PG-13 for a few curse words  
Email: daryn@jackisaboy.zzn.com  
Series/Sequel: This is part eight in the saga of Jack  
Web Page:   
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, but damn I wish I did.  
Warnings: Jack is a boy. Read 'Disclaimers' page for more info  
Notes: Jack's POV. This is the story of Jack's life with emphasis on his experiences on the planet in Pitch Black. There is no sex, yet. Eventually Jack and Riddick will get groovy though.  
Summary: Years later Jack narrates the events of his and Riddick's tropical vacation..  


I shaded my eyes and looked around at all the shops and restaurants. Riddick tapped my arm and I fell into step beside him. 

I couldn't keep myself still - I was almost skipping from excitement. I kept grabbing Riddick's arm and pointing at things and yelling "Look look!" I knew that I looked silly but I felt so good that I didn't care. 

I was so absorbed in the sights and sounds around me - the heavenly smell of salt water - that I was almost upset when Riddick pulled me into one of the shops. Then I got excited all over again as we shopped for beach gear. 

Riddick picked up the first, plainest pair of swim shorts that he saw. I began rifling through the racks to find the perfect pair for myself. As I looked, a clerk came over. 

"Finding everything alright?" He asked in a friendly tone. 

"Yeah!" My hands were shaking from excitement. 

"First time here?" The clerk smiled. Riddick walked over and I saw that he had also picked out the plainest beach towel in the store. 

I nodded at the clerk and threw a bright green towel at Riddick. 

"You should get THIS towel," I said, "It's green, like in the poem. In fact, I can recite a few lines of that poem if you want…" 

"Don't even think about it. You picked one yet?" Riddick nodded to the rack of swim shorts I was standing next to. 

"Well…" I looked over the rack and picked up a pair of blue shorts. "I was thinking these ones. And if you're not going to get the green towel, I'll get it." 

I waited outside while Riddick paid for our new beach things. As he stepped out of the shop I started to walk forward but he grabbed my arm and said "Wait. Help me out with this." 

Riddick had gotten a new pair of goggles. He pulled off his old pair and I saw that his eyes were closed tightly. To this day it is still the most vivid memory I have of Riddick: the image of him standing there in the shade of the shop front with his eyes squeezed shut, waiting for me to put on his new goggles. 

As he adjusted the new goggles I stepped back to admire them. 

"Looks really good!" I smiled. 

He handed me the old goggles. I grinned, slipped them on and adjusted them. 

"Where are we staying?" I was getting more and more anxious to get to the beach. 

"That one at the end," Riddick pointed to the collection of small cabins at the end of the road, right on the beach. 

I drew in a deep breath and I could feel my muscles tightening as I fought down the urge to just run to the water. 

The time that it took to check into our cabin to the moment when I was finally free to run to the edge of the water seemed to last for years and years. 

But at long last I found myself barefoot and barreling toward the water. 

After the initial thrill of splashing in the shallow water, I stood in a stupor: ankle-deep in the water, staring across it and into the distance. The water went on and on forever. Staring at all that water, it was almost impossible to imagine ever having been thirsty in my life. 

I shivered and folded my arms across my chest. I couldn't even really see where the edge of the water met the horizon. When I tried to focus on it, I felt like my eyes were being turned inside out. 

I noticed that there was only one sun and that it was low on the horizon. I was so accustomed to living my life based on a clock of numbers that it seemed like a genuine novelty to live a day based on the height of a sun. 

I backed out of the water and, taking another long look around, slowly turned toward our cabin. I saw Riddick standing on the porch. I waved to him and began to walk back. 

In the heat of my previous rush, I hadn't taken time to look around the cabin. I had my own little room that opened to a small front room. Riddick's room and the bathroom also opened to this room. 

I turned on some music and flopped onto the couch in the front room. It was a bit stiff but it felt nice and cool. 

Riddick poked his head inside. "I'm going to this dinner thing later. You interested?" 

"Sure," I sat up. "What is it?" 

Riddick shook his head. "Some kind of party the hotel puts on just about every night here. Seems like it's part of the whole tourist experience." 

"Well," I raised my eyebrows, "If it is part of the experience and we are having this experience then we must go to the dinner." 

I went into my room then turned around. "What are you gunna wear?" I shouted toward Riddick's room. 

"Clothes." The answer came muffled through his door. 

I let out an exasperated sigh and began to talk loudly as I rifled through my suitcases. "I know you pretend that you don't care what you wear but for someone who works so hard at being oblivious about it you end up dressed really well. Please pardon my social… anxiety… or… whatever…" 

I pulled out my favorite shirt. It was green striped with blue and yellow. I held it up and looked at it for a minute. 

"That could work." Riddick stood in the doorway. "On a circus clown." 

I paused and gave him a questioning look. I knew he couldn't see the colors. 

"It's all stripey." He said, gesturing at the shirt. 

I looked up and gave him my biggest smile, "I. Am. So. Happy!" I shouted as I pounced on him and gave him a hug. 

"Yeah. You get changed now. Hurry up." He stepped outside. 

Within minutes I was heading out to join him. And then I was heading back inside to get my jacket. The beach was pleasantly windy at night. 

The barbeque on the beach was amazing. There was a huge bonfire, tons of food, dancers, and lots of other tourists milling around. I piled a plate full of food and began to wander around. 

I noticed a group of kids that looked like they were around my age. I watched them shyly from a distance. I thought about going up to them and introducing myself. Just then, though, I had an acute attack of shyness. I turned away and looked for Riddick. 

And I saw him. He was standing with a group of people. I could see that several of them were watching him in the careful way which screamed 'I am so attracted to you'. He probably couldn't tell. I think it's one of those looks that can only be recognized by someone who's used to dishing it out. 

The guy standing next to him said something and I saw Riddick smile widely. I felt a sharp stab of jealousy. I quickly dismissed it. 

He's partly here for a vacation from YOU, Jack, I scolded myself. I decided to leave Riddick to his socializing. I began to walk along the beach in the direction of our cabin. 

On my slow walk back I reflected on a lot of things that had been kicking around in my head for a long time. I didn't like to think about serious issues on the ship because of the confined space. 

I'd go crazy if I tried to confront heavy issues there. But there in the cool open air, with the waves softly pounding and pulling at my feet and the stars shining so far away… I didn't have an excuse. 

How long can this last, I thought. How long can I stay with Riddick? Certainly not forever. Where am I going to go? The only place I can think to go is to a school. Have I had enough of schools? Would I be happy at a school? Will I be on a ship, planet-hopping for the rest of my life? 

Is that what I want? What do I want? Do I have to know what I want right now? What if I make a mistake? 

Christ, Jack. Always with the questions, never with the answers. I sighed and sat down in the sand. I had made it to our cabin and I didn't want to go inside yet. 

I wondered, not for the first and certainly not for the last time, what 'normal' kids did when they were fifteen. They certainly didn't… Oh dear. The thoughts that had been stowed away tightly for so long were surfacing again. 

Fuck it, I thought, I'm tired of denying it and chasing the thoughts away. I'm going to face it head-on this time. 

I like Riddick. I am attracted to Riddick. I knew it almost from the moment I saw him. Circumstances had made me push the fact of this attraction away but I knew it was still there and not terribly likely to leave any time soon. 

I rolled my eyes at myself. That's some kind of crazy fucked up Oedipal mess you've got there, Jack. 

So much for facing the facts, I thought. Facing them didn't change them and didn't change the fact that nothing would ever come of it. The image of Riddick talking to the other adults came to the front of my mind. 

He wants someone his own age and if he didn't, wouldn't there be something wrong with him? No, I thought, there might be something eerily right if that happened. 

I sprawled flat on my back and stared up at the stars. You'll just have to forget about it again, Jack. Or at least you'll have to convince yourself that you've forgotten or you'll die of sadness. Or weirdness. Whichever comes first. 

I closed my eyes. 

I awoke to Riddick poking me in the ribs with his toe. 

"Wake up, it's time for bed." He gave me his hand and hefted me up. I did my best to brush the sand off my back and butt and sleepily followed him inside. I fell into bed and didn't wake again until the next morning. 

I woke up before sunrise. At first I thought that I had only slept for a few hours, but my body was fully rested. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling for a while, enjoying the cool comfort of the hotel bed. 

I heard Riddick's door open. I rolled out of bed and hurriedly pulled off my clothes from the night before. I pulled on a clean shirt and my swimming shorts, took a moment to rub my eyes, and emerged into the lightly illuminated main room. 

Riddick was making himself some of the complimentary coffee that the hotel provided. I washed my face. 

As I dried my face I heard Riddick pouring his coffee. Without turning around I carefully chose my words and asked: "So what are you going to do today?" 

I still didn't turn around but I knew what he would be doing. He would be slowly sipping the coffee and not looking at me. 

"Don't know," came the low hum of his voice, "Thought I might just slum around the beach." 

I folded the towel and hung it on the rail. I turned and saw him staring out the window at the rising sun. I shrugged and volunteered, "Yeah. I dunno, I was thinking that too." 

He lowered his coffee cup. He might have stiffened a bit. I couldn't really tell in that light. 

"I mean, we don't have to go together," I added quickly. "I know you don't need me hanging around you all the time or anything." 

He didn't react at all. In the following silence I began to feel indignant. Who did he think I was? If he thought I was just going to follow him around like a stupid lost puppy he'd have another thing coming. I could take care of myself. Who needed to hang out with Riddick anyway? 

Without another word I pulled on my sandals, picked up my towel and trotted out the door without a word and without looking back. I rolled my eyes to myself as I walked away. Let him find his own fun, I thought. 

It didn't take long for me to reach the nearest recreational beach and by that time the sun was almost completely up. There must have been hundreds of people there. But since there was so much room it wasn't really crowded. I walked around for a while. I finally chose a spot, sat down, and watched the other people for a while. 

The families fascinated me. I was watching a particularly large family when a woman sitting near me moved her chair closer. 

"Hi," she said. I looked up and smiled. "Hi," I returned. 

"You here alone?"  
"Well I came with my uncle but he's somewhere else."  
"I see. You have any brothers or sisters?"  
"Nope."  
"That's too bad. I see you're watching those kids over there." 

I shrugged. 

"Nice looking boy like you should have a family someday. I bet you'd be a good dad." 

The thought had never occurred to me. Not like that, anyway. I had wondered about having a family someday but I had never thought that I might want to be a father someday. It caught me off-guard and I suppose I must have looked surprised because the woman laughed. 

"I'm sorry, I've embarrassed you. What's your name?"  
"Jack."  
"Well Jack, tell you what, you don't want to be stuck sitting here on the beach all by yourself talking to me all day. Run along out there and have some fun. Go on!" 

I smiled and nodded, picked up my towel and walked down to the water. I dropped my towel next to a large group of people, took off my sandals and left them there. I kept my shirt on. Though I hadn't developed any more chest in the past year I still wasn't comfortable going shirtless in public. 

I turned toward the water and hesitated for a moment. I could see people bobbing up and down out in the water. I could see people with different kinds of boards out even further. Only the small children seemed to be playing near the beach. 

I braced myself and headed out into the water. I reached the point where the kids about my size seemed to be, splashing each other and jumping into the waves. I joined a line of them that had linked arms and were jumping when the waves rolled over. 

It was a lot of fun and the feeling of complete weightlessness when the water lifted me up was exhilarating. I closed my eyes and drifted with the water as it rolled toward the beach and I caught myself on the ground as the water rolled out. 

After what seemed like ages, though, I turned around and headed back to the beach. I found my towel and sandals where I had left them (though my towel was half-buried in sand). I put on my sandals, slung my towel over my shoulder, and began to walk down the beach again. 

As I walked my thoughts began to drift. The odd nature of Riddick's questions on the ride down there was still nagging in the back of my thoughts. Then the discomfort of my crush on him began to chew on the corners of my mind. 

I also felt intimidated by the immense weight of the issues of fatherhood that the lady on the beach had brought up. Would I make a good father? Did I want to be a father? How could I be a father? I knew there were many ways to foster children, but wouldn't I want someone to foster the children with? 

The sound of laughter brought my thoughts back to the present. I turned and saw a group of girls who looked like they were my age. They saw me look at them and turned away, giggling. 

In a moment of unusual brashness (and a determined effort to drag my thoughts from the endless loop they were caught in) I smiled at them and walked over. 

"Hi," I said, glad that my voice sounded more confident than I felt. I had butterflies in my stomach. 

They seemed delighted to have me join them and introduced themselves as we proceeded to walk along the beach together. A few other boys joined us after a while. I felt awkward but apparently they thought I was cool. 

They vacationed there together every year and were very interested in me, as a new member of their gang. 

One of the guy's said, "So, Jack, you here with your parents?" 

I was doing my best to match their relaxed and jovial tones, taking my cues from the other guys. "Nah, I'm just here for a week with my uncle." 

"Why your uncle?"  
"Oh, I live with him. My folks are dead."  
"Oh… what's he do?" 

I thought for a minute, having no idea how this would be received. "He's got a ship and we travel all the time." 

Well, if I was afraid that they would laugh at me, I was incredibly wrong. Apparently most of them came from split families and they went to a school like my old one and hated it. 

The presumed freedom of my life intrigued them and captured their imaginations. Especially the fact that I had gone to a school like theirs and no longer did. 

"Why didn't you have to stay there after your folks croaked?"  
"Well, my uncle came to see me since he became my guardian after that and I told him that I wanted out of there and out of there is where he took me." 

It wasn't just a slick lie. It was one of my favorite daydreams – the ones that put me with Riddick and skipped the entire Planet-where-everyone-dies sequence. 

We spent the rest of the day walking along the beach, splashing in the ocean with the full flirtatious force of horny, unchaparoned teenagers. I made a conscious effort to flirt with the girls and to mask my flirtations with the boys as slick witticism. 

Eventually we all realized that we were hungry, so we left the beach and headed for one of the restaurants. 

At about this point I began to realize that I was genuinely attracted to one of the girls. Her name was Nora. She had shoulder-length, curly red hair, dark brown eyes, light freckles across her nose and cheeks… I can still remember her exactly as she looked that day. 

Since this didn't fit nicely with any reality that I knew, I pushed the thought aside as we ate. 

We ate at one of the poshest places that I had ever seen. We made a scene too. We had a food fight and though they gave us stern looks, one of the girls insisted that her father was so important that we wouldn't be kicked out. 

And she was right. 

After our meal we window shopped in the plaza that ran adjacent to the restaurant. A few of the girls left to settle a bet about whether one could shoplift something. 

The other showed no interest. "They do this all the time. And she never gets caught." 

We walked aimlessly after that. I let myself walk next to Nora the whole time, trying to convince myself that it was fine to pretend that I was attracted to her since I needed to appear straight to these people and not because I was really attracted to her. 

We talked about everything and nothing – stuff that's only interesting at the time. I told stories that I had thought up, stories of my real adventures with Riddick, all kinds of stories so they would joke "Did any of that really happen?" and I, of course, would laugh and reply "I wish!" 

We ended up at a big dance in one of the hotel lobbies. Some of the guys looked uncomfortable. We stood watching the couples dance for a while. I saw the girls mostly looking down or shooting quick, shy glances at me and the other guys. 

I smiled and, high on the happiness of having friends and having fun, I turned to Nora and asked, "May I have this dance?" 

Her expression froze into a look of happy surprise. She hadn't spoken much the entire day. I didn't know must about her, I just knew that I liked her shy smile and I liked her a lot. It didn't mesh well with my brain, but my gut was saying "Go on, Jack!" 

I took her hand and as we stepped into the crowd of gyrating bodies I said loudly next to her ear, "I can't dance!" She grabbed my hand and led me to the other side of the dance floor and from there, through the doors and down the stairs to the beach. 

We fell into step next to each other, still holding hand. I tingled all over. A flood of feelings was drowning me and I couldn't remember ever being so happy. Or so unsure of myself. 

I couldn't think of a thing to say that didn't sound stupid to me. And of course panicked thoughts like "What if she wants to kiss and she finds out…" and "Wait, I'm not even really supposed to like girls…What does this mean?" 

Our pace slowed and I glance over at her nervously. "You want to go sit over there?" I asked, nodding toward the water. She glanced at me and then quickly looked away. She nodded. 

We walked toward the water and found a good spot to sit. The act of sitting broke our handhold and I felt more nervous with every passing minute. 

It felt like an eternity had passed when she finally spoke. 

"Why did you ask me?" 

She stared at the water. I looked at her, admiring her profile and the way that the moonlight lit her face. Wow, that sounds like bad poetry. But it was really a beautiful moment. I swear. 

"Because you're beautiful. And… after this week I might never see you again… and, well, it's nice to be asked to dance."  
"Yeah. But you can't dance." She smiled.  
"Yeah," I smiled back, "But I figured if you knew I could follow your lead." 

She laughed quietly and, for the first time, looked me in the eye. "I had the same plan!" 

I laughed too. "You can't dance?" 

She shook her head. 

"But I thought you came here every year."  
"Yeah, but none of those guys ever asks me." She was staring at the water again.  
"What?" I was shocked. "You're the only one I would ask." 

And that was the truth. Her face took on a stony expression and it suddenly hit me that she was trying not to cry. I knew that feeling so well. I reached over and put my arm around her. 

"Really," I said, trying to find the words. "I mean, it was really cool getting to hang out with everyone today, but…" But what, Jack? "But you're the only one who's worth…" Worth what, Jack? ""Worth really talking to, you know?" 

I patted her shoulder and wondered if that had comforted her. Had I said the right thing? Had I said too much? How would I know? What was she thinking? 

I asked it before I could think about it anymore: "What are you thinking about?" 

She looked at me quizzically. "You're… you're not like the other boys." 

I decided that she meant that as a compliment. "Well, I'm really happy sitting here with you but I don't know if you're happy or what." I smiled shyly and lowered my eyes. 

"I like you," she said. 

I'll never forget that moment. Those three, simple words. We don't say them enough in everyday life. I had never head them spoken so directly to me before. 

"I like you too!" I said, happily and sincerely. 

We stood up after that and I walked her back to her hotel. We walked hand in hand and as we stood in front of her hotel we made plans to meet the next day and hang out together. 

"Well I should go in now," she said, but she hesitated. This was the to-kiss-goodbye-or-not moment. I knew it and I had no idea what to do. I decided to just mimick what a boy had done in a vid I had watched the week before. 

I kissed her cheek, gave her hand a squeeze, let go, and said "Good night… see you tomorrow." 

She blushed, smiled, turned, and walked inside. I watched her disappear around a corner. Then I slowly turned away. 

I thought about going back to the cabin but too many stray thoughts and strange emotions were nagging me. I decided to take a walk along the carnival lane. The rides and things were still open. 

I found a bench and sat down. I watched a family walk by – a mother, a father, and three children. I marveled at this. It was like seeing a mythical creature in the flesh. 

These thoughts crowded my brain in a confused jumble. 

Why had I never had a family like that? If I had, how would my life be different? Where was Imam? Why was I avoiding the inevitable return to the cabin? 

Should I tell Nora about myself? The whole truth? When should I tell her? What if she reacted badly and I became in danger? 

Was I avoiding Riddick? What had he been doing all day? Had he wondered about me? Was he thinking about me right now? Was he worried that I hadn't come back yet? Did he ever worry? What if he wasn't there when I returned? What if he never returned? 

Would I get to really kiss Nora, like in the vids? Would she expect me to really kiss her? Had she expected me to really kiss tonight? 

Where was I going to be in ten years? 

Eventually I got up and shuffled off toward to the beach. I followed the water back toward our cabin. 

"Our" cabin, I thought, wow. Until that night I hadn't realized how rarely I thought "me" and "mine". I was more oriented toward "us", "we", and "ours". Me and Riddick. Riddick and me. Us. We. Ours. Together. Family. 

And then, tacked to the end of my long string of questions came one answer. Not even an answer but a memory. The first time I saw Riddick. How attractive he was then. 

AND STILL IS. 

No, I scolded myself. Not this again. You let that one through last night and you know it's not really an answer. It just raises more questions. Make it go away. 

But it wouldn't go away. I felt like kicking myself. Great timing, Jack. What about Nora? I liked her too. 

And Riddick, I thought, Riddick would never… or would he? I didn't know. I had been far too caught up in my own head for the past year or so to consciously observe his behavior with this in mind. 

I stopped. I was there, the cabin was in front of me. The lights were out inside. But of course they would be. Riddick didn't need lights. The outdoor light wasn't on either. 

I walked around the cabin and saw that a group of older kids was smoking next to one of the other cabins. I approached them and was amiably drawn into their circle for an hour or so. It eased my mind and took me away from my questions. Then they moved on and I was left alone again. 

I didn't know the time but I could feel that it was very late… or very early. I was tired. 

I unlocked the door and slowly opened it. I stepped inside, being as quiet as possible. Riddick's door was closed. 

I stood in the middle of the room and stared at his door. I began to get angry. I was angry at him for being attractive, for being impossible to figure out, for not leaving the light on for me, for not asking where I was going that morning, for not waiting up for me, and the list went on and on. 

Mostly I was angry that I didn't have a family like those kids I had watched on the beach. I was angry that, for whatever reason, fate had singled me out for a finalist in the 'most abnormal life ever' competition. At that moment I directed the anger, rage and hurt at Riddick. 

I took five steps and was inside my own room. "Lights," I said sharply. I turned and slammed my door shut loudly. 

I stripped off my clothes, dumped my towel in the corner, pulled on my pajamas, fell into bed, and fell asleep with the lights on. 

I didn't dream. 


	9. Hands to Heaven

  
DISCLAIMERS!!! -- YOU MUST READ THESE FIRST 

Title: Jack B. Badd Part Nine: Hands to Heaven  
Author: Daryn  
Fandom: Pitch Black  
Pairing: Jack/Riddick  
Rating: R for a few curse words and adult shit  
Email: daryn@jackisaboy.zzn.com  
Series/Sequel: This is part nine in the saga of Jack  
Web Page:   
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, but damn I wish I did.  
Warnings: Jack is a boy. Read 'Disclaimers' page for more info  
Notes: Jack's POV. This is the story of Jack's life.  
Summary: Jack narrates, in retrospect, the shocking and brilliantly written conclusion to his and Riddick's tropical vacation.  


I fell out of bed the next morning. I wasn't used to sleeping on a freestanding bed (I had a bunk on the ship that was nailed to the floor). I lay there quietly for a minute and then spent five minutes furiously rolling around and untangling myself from my blankets. 

Finally I stood up and looked around sleepily. I rubbed my eyes and looked out the window. The sun was rising. I stretched and began to get dressed. 

My swim shorts were cold and clammy. I shivered as I pulled my door open. 

And I came face to face with a woman I had never seen before as she stepped out of the bathroom. 

We stared at each other for a minute. Then my gaze wandered toward Riddick's door. It was open. I looked back at the woman. 

"Good morning," she said. I have no idea what she must have been thinking or feeling. I was just flabbergasted. I had no idea how to process this information. 

Of course it didn't help me much when, a moment later, another stranger walked out of Riddick's room. A man. He stopped just outside the doorway and stared at us. I stared at him, at the woman, at himÉ 

Then I very slowly stepped around the woman, into the bathroom, and I shut the door and locked it. I stood with my back to the door. I thought that I might cry. I gulped and looked over at my reflection in the mirror. 

Then it began. Slowly I felt a smile begin to break across my face. Then I began to laugh quietly. And I laughed harder. I laughed and laughed. It was all so funny. There I had been, worrying about a girl, worrying about Riddick, and the whole time he had been having a good time with the best of both worlds. 

Riddick. The man who never betrayed an emotion had just been caught in the middle of a hell of a morning-after. He had been caught. By me. 

The laughter eventually subsided and I wiped my eyes. My stomach hurt and I knew that I was hungry. I washed my face and then braced myself to open the door. 

I was so wrapped up in my own head that I walked right into Riddick. He must have been standing just outside the door. 

"Sorry," I mumbled automatically. Then I looked him in the eye and the smile came back. I almost started laughing again. I bit my lip and tried hard to control it. 

"Good morning Riddick." 

Shaking my head, I stepped around him into my room. I picked up my towel and shook my head. I turned back toward the bathroom to get one of the towels from there. I saw the woman and man sitting on the porch and drinking coffee. 

Riddick was still standing in the middle of the front room, watching me. I stepped past him into the bathroom. I chose one of the bigger towels and walked out again. 

I tossed the towel on a chair and poured myself a cup of coffee. As I drowned it with sugar and cream Riddick cleared his throat. 

"What do you want to do today?" 

I glanced up at him. "ActuallyÉ I made plans." 

He raised an eyebrow. "Hot date?" 

I bit my lip again. "Not like you had last night." I looked very pointedly out the front door to the people sitting on the porch. I winked at Riddick. His face was stone. Stone and ice. 

I stared into his goggles and sipped my "coffee". He turned to the window and lowered his head for a minute. 

When he raised his head again he spoke in a low whisper, "If youÉ get into any troubleÉ Just let me know. You know that, right?" 

Nice of you to care now, I thought. But then I let the anger go. I knew that Riddick had every right to kill me after my thoughtless comment. He had probably skinned people alive for lesser offenses. 

I felt sick and disgusted with myself. 

I gazed down into my cup. I opened my mouth, ready to apologize. Then I heard the people on the porch laugh loudly and I got angry again. 

"Yeah right," I spat my retort at Riddick's back. 

Within a minute I had thrown my cup on the floor and was running out the door and down the beach. I didn't stop until I was walking under a stand of trees, far from everyone else on the beach. 

I slowed down to catch my breath. Tears were streaming down my face and I was sobbing so hard that I thought my chest would burst. 

Even looking back on it now I can't say why I reacted like that. It didn't make sense and it hasn't made sense since. When I finally calmed down I found a restroom and washed my face again. 

Then I slowly made my way to meet Nora. 

I could feel an ache somewhere inside me. I wanted to just sit and cry for hours. I didn't know what I wanted Ð I mean what I really **wanted**. There's no better way to describe that feeling. 

Instead of crying, though, I spent a fantastic day with Nora. I remember everything we did and said, none of which seems interesting or important now of course. 

Sunset found us sitting on the beach together, talking. 

At one point the conversation lulled and Nora rook my hand. She looked down the beach as she said, "I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I forgot." 

I nodded. It made me sad, butÉ well, I was used to people coming and going at the drop of a hat. 

"I want to kiss you before I leave." 

Her words caught me off-guard and I froze. 

"Nothing more though," she said sternly, looking me in the eye. I nodded, my eyes widening as she leaned toward me. 

In that split second I lived a lifetime of worry over my first kiss Ð what do I do, where does my tongue go, etc. But I didn't need to worry. It was short, sweet and not embarrassingly bad at all. 

Of course we shyly avoided each other's eyes after that and during the walk back to her hotel. We said our goodnights and goodbyes. We hugged each other tightly and then I watched her disappear again. 

And that was that. I never saw her again. 

And you're probably thinking 'All that build up for nothing!' and that's just what I felt. A big well of disappointment, mingled with relief. 

I was afraid to go back to the cabin. I found the office house and got some blankets. I spent the night on the beach. 

My primary fear at that point was: if Riddick hadn't planned on leaving me before this, surely after my outburst he wouldn't hesitate to ditch me. 

The other nagging thought that I tried to fight down as I dozed off was: what would I say to Riddick if I ever saw him again? 

That night I dreamed. In my dream I was in a cabin on the beach. Nora was there and we were watching the water when suddenly the waves got so high that they carried the cabin away. 

But it was fine because the water was warm and we could float. I saw Shazza floating a ways off and I waved to her. She waved back and floated away. 

Then Nora asked me where Riddick was and I began to look for him but then I began to sink. Nora tried to pull me up but I was falling and drowningÉ 

I woke up, gasping for breath. I was in my bed in the cabin. 

And I was covered in sand. 

I groaned and rolled out of bed. I saw the blankets from the night before discarded on a chair. I brushed the sand off of my clothes, straightened them as best I could and walked slowly to my door. 

I opened it cautiously and took a deep breath as I stepped out. 

Riddick's door was closed. 

I let out a deep sigh of relief and marched into the bathroom. I took a long hot shower while I tried to think of how I would handle whatever was coming next. I had an idea of a few different ways that Riddick could respond to what I had done. 

But with Riddick there was no way to know. 

After running through half an infinity of possibilities, I gave up and decided to play it by ear. As I dried myself off I inspected my body. 

I had hair on my tummy. It was fun to play with. 

My clitoris had grown quite a bit too. I looked at my face. My hair was still so short. And it didn't grow fast. 

I sighed, fogging up the part of the mirror that I had just wiped off. 

Hey Jack.   
What're you doing?   
I don't know.   
Riddick's probably mad at you.   
I know.   
He's never really been mad at you before, has he?   
I guess not.   
Well, if it's over now at least it was fun while it lasted.   
Sure.   
I know you'll cry if he leaves you now.   
No answer.   
No answer. 

No answer except to get out there and see it through. The thing must run its course. 

I put on some clean underwear and my robe. I stepped out of the bathroom and came face to face with Riddick. On any other day I would have teased him about how he always seemed to be waiting right outside the bathroom door. 

He turned and walked into his room. I followed him. 

He sat on the bed and looked at me. I couldn't meet his gaze. And I couldn't look up without thinking about those strangers and what Riddick might have been doing with them in this very room. 

"Tell me what happened, Jack." 

I swallowed. My throat was dry. I was so ashamed of myself. 

"I'm sorry," I croaked. I licked my lips. 

"IÉ I shouldn't have acted like that, Riddick. IÉ there's no excuse for it. I acted like a stupid kid and you really didn't deserve that. And I'm sorry I didn't come back last night. I was afraidÉ I was scared. And seeÉ" I swallowed, "Cuz there was this girl and I really liked her and I gotÉ well, I'm still so confused about thatÉ andÉ" 

I looked up. "I'm sorry Riddick. I won't do anything like that again. IÉ I love you." 

The last words shocked me and I stopped talking. It's true, I realized. I don't know what kind of love this is or why I love him really butÉ I love him. I hope it was OK to tell him that, I thought nervously. 

Riddick's face was a mask. I was about to die from the stress of not knowing how he was going to respond when he reached out his hand and said, "Come here." 

I fell into his arms and we sat there hugging each other for a long time. Riddick pulled away first and held me by the shoulders as he looked me in the eyes. 

"I thought I'd really fucked up back there," he said, "I was really worried." 

"It's my fault. ButÉ I guess it's good to have a little fight once in a while." 

"Oh no," Riddick chuckled, "Let's get all the little fights for the next year all in on this one and save ourselves the trouble." 

It hadn't escaped me. "The next yearÉ SoÉ you're notÉ" I didn't know how to finish my question. 

He looked down then slowly met my gaze. "I thought about it. I won't kid you there. But you knew that when you decided to come with me. You knew I might leave you somewhere. But not now. I'll promise you that. Not now." 

I grinned. I knew that was more than I had ever had to count on before. 

"So are you going to start wearing that aftershave I bought you and stop leaving your toothbrush in the sink?" 

"Well," he said, mocking thoughtfulness, "I think I can handle the toothbrush but I would rather be tortured to death with a rice noodle than use that aftershave." 

We smiled at each other. "Yeah, me too," I agreed. 

"Come on, let's go get something to eat before I starve to death." 

We found a nice place in a nearby plaza. While we ate I thought I'd risk asking: "SoÉ Did you doÉ anything interesting over the past two days?" I used the most neutral voice that I could muster. 

A smirk stole across his face. "Nothin' legal." 

"You serious?" 

"Only half serious," he turned back to his food. "Better you don't know about it anyway." 

"Oh." 

"So," Riddick began as our dessert arrived, "About this girlÉ" 

I smirked back at him, "What about her?" 

He just raised an eyebrow. 

"Ok," I relented. "Her name was Nora." 

"Was?" 

"Well, she left today." 

"I see." 

"AnywayÉ I'd never really been into a girl before, but she was soÉ I don't know. She was so beautiful and notÉ you knowÉ frivolous like her friends. They were fun and all but she wasÉ different." I diligently stirred my ice cream into mush. 

"So I've beenÉ confused. Because I thoughtÉ well, you know, what if I was just aÉ lesbian? Or what if I'm straight? Would a girl want to be with me? Stuff like that." 

I shrugged and sighed melodramatically. I paused to eat my dessert. 

Riddick was scraping his bowl. That always amused me. His favorite treat was ice cream. He loved that shit so much. 

Between bites he put in: "Whoever you like, you're still you. Still Jack. Don't worry about naming it." 

He returned his attention to the bowl. 

"YeahÉ" I grinned. 

The last days of our vacation were better than the first ones. I can't remember the exact details of everything that happened though. I always get mixed up trying to remember what we did on what day. 

But, like always, I was thinking. 

I knew that a line had been crossed. Riddick and I were closer than before butÉ we were more careful around each other. More guarded. 

At last the day came when we boarded the transport back to the docking station. It had only been a week since we'd parked the old ship there but to me it felt like ten lifetimes had passed. 

I was quiet during the entire trip back to our ship. I was thinking about the pills that I had been taking for a year. If I had the surgery to remove my girl parts then I wouldn't have to take them as often. 

By the time we were aboard I had reached a decision. 

When we had finished the routine check up to make sure everything was still working correctly, Riddick punched in our destination and off we went. 

I cleared my throat. "Riddick, I want to talk to you aboutÉ" 

"No." He said it forcefully. He turned to face me. He had his goggles on and he was frowning. 

"I have to talk to you." He didn't move as he talked. I couldn't meet his gaze so I stared at my feet. 

"I was going to leave you," he growled, "I was going to let you just make your own way from there. It's not _nice_ is it? No. Because I'm not a nice person. I'm not. And you know I could leave you anytime. Anywhere. And I will someday." 

I took a deep breath and waited for a minute. I figured he was done. Here goes, I thought. 

"I know," I said, sounding braver than I felt. I raised my eyes to meet his. "I know. And I'm still here." 

We stood facing each other for another thirty seconds or so. When Riddick spoke again his tone was softer, "What were you going to say before?" 

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I want surgery. I need my girl parts out before they get infected or something." 

Riddick broke eye contact and nodded. 

"I'll see what I can do." 

I nodded. "I'm going to bed now." 

I paused in the doorway and turned. 

"I love you Riddick," I said simply, "but you can be so irritating." 

I winked at him, grinned wickedly, pivoted on my heel and walked away. 


End file.
